Friends describe their spring break adventures as sand-strewn beaches that sparkle with the light of a thousand suns

"The clear turquoise water lapped at my feet like an eager puppy, its salty fingers tickling my toes until I giggled with joy at my perfect tropical spring break."

“The clear turquoise water lapped at my feet like an eager puppy, its salty fingers tickling my perfectly tanned toes until I giggled with joy.”

A rippling sea of familiar faces greets me as I step into the Blue Room, and I sigh with happiness at returning to my beloved university after Spring Break. As I breathe in the sweet spring air scented with freshly baked cookies, I spot my friend through the gaggle of chattering students.

“How was your spring break?!” I cry, my voice high with my lack of caring.

“I went to the Bahamas!” She replies, giddy with excitement, and my face falls. “I lay on the beach and soaked in the beauty of my surroundings for hours on end. The sand sparkled as it reflected the daggers of sunlight like tiny diamonds. The ocean reflected my joy in its leaping waves, while the sun caressed my face until my melanin levels shot up in delight.”

“That sounds amazing!” I say, a fake smile plastered on my pale, melanin-less face. “What else did you do?”

“I snorkeled in Caribbean waters so clear that I could see the slender arms of starfish waving at me from a mile away,” She says happily, but with a hint of weariness from repeating her tropical stories. “I swam alongside darting fish that shimmered with all the colors of the rainbow, and when I smiled at them they smiled back at me. Did any fish smile at you over break?”

“Um, no. I went home and gazed at Netflix shows on my sparkling computer screen,” I sob, my salty tears staining my flushed cheeks.

“Well, you should go like every picture in my Facebook album. I over-exposed all of my photos so that the dazzling blues will burn your eyes like hot coals, and I saturated them until I looked as tan as Snooki after she fell asleep in a UV-light tanning bed,” she brags.

“That’s cool. I Instagrammed selfies,” I whimper, my voice heavy with misery and laced with disdain.

Her soft brown eyes, the color of moose, contain a trace of pity, but are mostly full of superiority. I turn away and stride back across the Blue Room, my pride bruised black and blue. As I step out into Faunce Arch, the spring air tastes a little less sweet, and I vow to go to a tropical destination with an even sparklier beach for next year’s spring break.

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