Sixth Man: Softball (plus super fun bonus material!)


I want to preface this post by saying: I am on board with Brown softball. Seriously, I am. Okay. Now that that’s been said, what in hell are we doing with our softball program? Here is some evidence that whoever makes decisions about how to prioritize sports funding does not even realize we field a softball team:

  • They play on some field behind the field behind the baseball field, which is behind the field hockey field which is behind the IM frisbee field which is behind the OMAC.
  • The scoreboard was built some time in the B.C. era.
  • There is a hill on the left-field foul line. Like they couldn’t find a flat surface to build the field on, and were like, “Eh, fuck it–we’ll just put the field on this hill anyway.”
  • The online schedule was titled “Brown Softball Schedule [Tentative]” until this week. Because opponents won’t commit 100% to playing us, or what? Maybe we’re worried they’ll see the hill in left field and bail.
  • The first page of Google Images hits for “Brown softball” includes as many pictures of Harvard softball as of Brown.

Alright, but like I said, I am on board with Brown softball. Here is some evidence that softball is fun:

  • It’s basically baseball, and me and a few old dudes everyone likes baseball.
  • They still do organized group cheers for the batter, T-Ball style.
  • I don’t know. But I like it.

Unfortunately, we are 7-18 overall and 1-7 in the Ivy League. I sat in on a few innings of a game against URI, and I dare say we were fighting pretty hard. It was 0-0 after the seven scheduled innings; the twelve assembled fans were yawning with excitement. Then URI scored two runs in the top of the eighth inning and won. (They also beat us again later that day, but it didn’t take them any extra innings.)

So, there’s some room for improvement. But I’m sure Bruno will keep trucking. You can next catch them playing four games over two days against Harvard on Spring Weekend. I’m sure they’re pumped about that scheduling. See everyone there for sure!



  • Men’s tennis is 12-7, which is pretty good, I’d say.
  • Women’s tennis is 6-9. Not as good.
  • Track is happening. Is track a thing I can give a win-loss record for? I don’t think so.
  • Golf is also happening. See “track.”
  • Women’s water polo is 13-19 BUT 3-2 in conference, including a win over Harvard. I’ll take it.
  • Men’s lax is 5-4, but back-to-back losses to Princeton and Penn are problematic as far as qualifying for postseason play goes.
  • Women’s lax is 9-2. YEAH! Now we’re talking.
  • CREW IS TOP-10. IN THE COUNTRY. Oh baby.
  • And, last but not least, baseball is… 3-20. No comment. Killed my vibe a little.

Check back soon for posts on any, if not all, of the above teams. Over and out.

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