Sextion: A retrospective on Spring Weekend hookups

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We hope your Spring Weekend was as wild and as full of debauchery as ours was. Not so surprisingly, both of your lovely Sextion writers managed to get some action this weekend and we’re here to tell you about it.

Monica Bruinsky: So, Margaret, it sounds like you had a really eventful Spring Weekend. Wanna tell our readers about it?

Margaret Snatcher: Well, Friday night started out pretty normally as far as Spring Weekend goes. I was just pre-gaming with my friends before the concert, brought a flask, and was wearing clothes that I would never let my parents see me in…the usual. However, I went into the evening with high expectations, and let’s just say they were met. At the concert, I ran into one of my classmates whom I’d had my eye on for a while and we started dancing. I felt intoxicated, but not just because of the alcohol, and eventually, I was the one who initiated our leaving together, asking if he wanted to get out of there. Needless to say, he accepted my offer, but how could he not? Ya bish. So we left together during A-Trak to go back to his room; and despite the clumsy, drunken missteps and a couple of head-butts here and there, it was definitely one of my top-rated hookups.

MB: So was that the highlight of your Spring Weekend?

MS: Well, we hooked up again on Saturday night after we found each other at the soccer house. Round Two was equally as enjoyable.

MB: What made you decide to go home with the guy as opposed to staying with your friends?

MS: In my opinion, Spring Weekend is the perfect occasion for self-indulgence. And, the timing and situation were just too perfect for me to pass up on Friday night. My friends knew that I wanted to hook up with him, so I didn’t feel bad about leaving them, and I felt comfortable with my state of mind to make good decisions. The same can be said for Saturday. I don’t regret any of the decisions I made on Friday or Saturday. — So, Monny, how did your Spring Weekend compare to mine?

MB: Well, my Spring Weekend was a little bit different than yours. I was also really intoxicated (to the extent that I somehow managed to miss the Brown students twerking onstage with Big Freedia). My hookup didn’t progress to the bedroom, but we were hooking up at the concert for quite some time. Oh and also under Wayland Arch while I was waiting for my friends — I forgot about that. I knew the guy from class, and had a fun time dancing and hooking up, but I didn’t want anything to go further with him. (Even though his name is only one letter off from the name of my vibrator.) To be honest, he was moderately creepy, something that I discovered a bit later when I found out he had previously hooked up with two of my friends and tried to take advantage of them. While we were hooking up under Wayland Arch, he asked me if I wanted to go back to my room to change, saying he would come and “help me.” I don’t think I needed to change, nor did I need his assistance.

MS: Now I really want to know the name of your vibrator… So you left him?

MB: Yeah, this Spring Weekend for me was less about finding a great hookup and more about spending as much time as possible with my friends. I didn’t want our group to get separated, as we were all on a lot of different substances and at different levels of intoxication, so I really wanted us to stick together. Plus, I think I was having more fun dancing and running into a million friends that I hadn’t seen in a while than I was hooking up.

MS: So was that the end of this guy?

MB: Actually no, I also ran into him at the soccer party on Saturday night, but my friends knew I wasn’t really interested so, being as loyal as they are, they used a diversion tactic to keep him away. One pretended that she was incredibly drunk and needed me to take her to the bathroom, while the other two kinda just pushed him away. I’d say it was effective. Things might be a little awkward for us in class now, but I won’t be worried about trying to avoid his glances either. I have no regrets from Spring Weekend, though. It was definitely the best one yet. I didn’t go to bed before 5 a.m. on either night. Literally amazing.

Whether your Spring Weekend was all about the hookups or all about your friends, or a good mixture of both, we hope you all had an amazing time and that you made the decisions that were right for you. Was the soccer party as crazy for you guys as it was for us? Let us know at monicabruinsky@gmail.com.

Until next week and happy recovery period,

Margaret and Monica

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