Sextion: Mixing studies with pleasure

Sextion

For many of us, reading period and finals are a stressful time of papers, exams, all-nighters, and little else. And though, as we posted about last semester, it is important to give yourself a little self care, you can’t afford to blow off steam like you may have earlier in the semester. Getting drunk and going out seems nearly impossible when you’re pulling consecutive all-nighters trying to get your shit done. You can’t afford the day-long hangover, nor can you stomach a diet of Powerade and Pepto-Bismol.

If bodily destruction isn’t in the cards right now, you need an alternative. Instead of hurting your liver, why don’t you give a gift to your body this time around? Why not do it while simultaneously enhancing your studies? We know that sexual activities have all sorts of stress reducing and health beneficial properties (that don’t include destroying any internal organs), and you can do them while still being productive.

So here are Caitlin’s ‘creative’ methods for studying and being sexy:

Strip paper: We’ve all heard of strip poker, strip monopoly, strip crazy eights (okay, maybe some of us haven’t heard of that one)—now it’s time to welcome strip paper! All you need is any form of a written assignment to work on, and the concept is simple: for every paragraph you write, you remove an article of clothing.  For all you kids out there with ten-page papers: things are about to get sexy.

As an added bonus, play this game in the laundry room and get your clothes clean at the same time!

It must've been a good game if none of them are were left wearing any clothes.

It must’ve been a good game if none of them were left wearing any clothes.

SciLi speed dating: Trying to reach a book on the top shelf of the Rock or SciLi stacks? Why not have someone else give you a boost? While they are hoisting you up in the stacks, try recreating the iconic library scene from Atonement. The SciLi is the perfect place to cure your sexual munchies by trying to meet someone new. Key word: trying. It doesn’t matter whether you succeed or not. The point is the distraction of hitting on that person across from you in the stacks. If you are successful, you get to have your own personal Naked Donut Run (minus the donuts). If you fail… try another floor?

And who knows? Maybe that someone you meet has already taken the class you’re studying for and can whisper sweet nothings in your ear about Shakespeare. Or, in the case of orgo, talk dirty to you.

Your Body Is a Wonderland: All John Mayer references aside, screw paper study guides. Get naked, get body paint and turn your skin into an oversized index card. History facts, chemical structures… hell, even throw some CS codes on there. You could also get creative and write with chocolate body paint, then have your study partner lick it off when you guys are done!

Definitely don’t use henna for this, or your professor is going to bust you come finals when you have all of the answers temporarily tatooed on your body.

An appointment at the Writing Center: One time or ongoing appointments available? You have to set up a time in advance? And woah, they want you to include your phone number with your reservation?! Sounds like a date to me. Have fun, erm, editing… you two lovebirds.

You may be saying to yourself, “But Caitlin and Monica! I don’t have anyone to write on me with chocolate body paint or bump and grind in the SciLi stacks!”

Relax, we’ve got you covered. Or, rather, uncovered. Of course we know that study groups are the perfect way to finally talk to that someone in your class that you’ve been eyeing, but you should also take advantage of BlogDH’s amazing meal credit exchange Facebook event. And by take advantage of, we mean use as a vehicle to hit on people on your bucket list by taking them out to the Blue Room.

Your sandwich is on me, babe. And don’t even get me started on naked burritos. They are both literally and figuratively spicy. Rawr.

How about you slip into something a little more... comfortable?

How about you slip into something a little more… comfortable?

Aww yeah. I've never been happier for someone undressing. Food porn, or just porn?

Aww yeah. I’ve never been happier for someone undressing. Food porn, or real porn?

 

 

 

 

 

 

So this finals period, instead of whistling while you work, why not moan? Give yourself some loving while also maintaing productivity. And have fun!

<3 Caitlin and Monica

Images, via, via, via, via.

Leave a Reply