If you didn’t leave your dorm room this past weekend, you should know that many families descended upon College Hill. It was a perfect balance of surreal and awesome. Families occupied every corner of campus, leaving very little room for privacy and lots of room for eavesdropping. We sometimes forget Brown’s quintessential quirks until outsiders come to our stomping ground and acknowledge them. Here are a collection of our favorite overheard quotes from Family Weekend. If any of these were uttered by your relatives, sorry we’re not sorry.
A grandmother’s perspective on SexPowerGod.
“Oh, I’ve heard it’s wear as little or as much as you want.”
A mother on night life.
“Where’s the party tonight, ladies?”
On siblings going out together.
“Make sure your brother isn’t too hungover tomorrow. We have to go on a college tour.”
A father realizes that his daughter is living as an independent in a fraternity house.
“Well, your building seems to be in a great location.”
Another father enters a fraternity house on Saturday morning.
“Now this smells like college.”
A father hears that there is no alcohol in his son’s apartment during dinner.
“You’re fucking with me, right?”
On the Pembroke Seal.
“My daughter told me not to step here. I’m not sure why, but we aren’t allowed.”
A father’s encounter with the traditional Consent Day apparel.
“Do you know what that girl’s shirt said? ‘Consensual sex is hot’…what’s that about?”
Parents who think they go here after one weekend.
“All I want right now is an 100 oz. beer from Spats.”
“Let’s just call it a day and go to Geoff’s Superlative Sandwiches.”
“Are we thinking of getting brunch on Wickendorf Street?”
Parents reminisce on the good ol’ College days.
“Kids don’t really use crack pipes anymore.”
“Can we go back to your dorm? There are probably some raging parties happening tonight.”
“Ah, the smell of stale beer and ambition. I’ve missed college.”