Squirrels of Brown University

The sense of humanity in all of us is best captured by the Humans of New York photography series. It is an amazing project that portrays the essence of this vibrant state through the pictures of colorful individuals. We decided to do our own version of this, and thus Humans of Brown was born. However, we must not forget about the little ones. They are as much a part of this university as any student, and they deserve more than just our soggy food scraps. These are the squirrels of Brown, and these are their stories.

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“Hi sir, would you mind facing the camera for the picture, please?”
“No.”
“No?”
“My profile is amazing. Take a picture of that instead. And make it good!”

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“So winter is coming. How do you feel about that?
“I don’t.”
“Could you elaborate?”
“As I prepare to enter deep sleep, an unshakeable feeling of emptiness swallows me up. I sleep, I wake up, I sleep, I wake up.”
“It must be very monotonous.”
“Terribly, and it makes me question my purpose in life. That’s why I’ve learned to numb my emotions so as to better cope with this emptiness. See, emptiness itself might seem like the complete absence of feeling, so forgoing emotionality completely might seem irrelevant, or to even exacerbate the issue. It’s so much more though, and I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve.”

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“What’s your favorite part about Brown?”
“Oh, the pizza for sure.”
“Is it easy for you to get pizza around campus?”
“For the most part. Students are so wasteful, but that’s perfect for us! I find some pretty neat slices outside the Gate on Friday nights.”

He then stops and gasps loudly.

“Jackpot!”
“What happened?”
“I think this slice I’m digging up is an Avocado Quesadilla from Antonio’s. Nice.”

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“I like this bike a lot.”
“Why is that?”
“I don’t know. It just brings back childhood memories. We lived in a very small nest on a tree near a bike rack. Our nest was too small for my 6 brothers and I, but mom always made the best out of every situation.”
“Where is she now?”
*remains silent*

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“I’m practicing my poses.”
“Oh, are you a model?”
“No, well at least not yet. I’m going to my first casting call today, and I’m trying to be as hopeful as I can. It’s just that everyone’s into the emaciated squirrel look these days you know? And, well… [laughs and points at belly] then there’s me.”

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“What was the saddest moment of your life?”
“Probably when the blizzard struck last year. The little ones just couldn’t tough it out.”
“Aw man, I’m sorry.”
“It’s alright. I know the big Squirrel in the sky has a plan for all of us, and only he knows why he does these things. I just try to live my life as if they were still here. They would have wanted that.”

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“What do you think is the secret to a long and healthy life?”
“Treetop yoga, no question about it. There’s just something about the fluidity of the movements and the rawness of it all that makes you feel more in touch with Mother Earth. So I guess being able to synchronize with nature overall is the secret to living a prosperous life.”

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“Could you take my picture?”
“But you’re not a squirrel.”
“Please, I want my friends to see me on SOB and freak out!”
“Ok, if you had one piece of advice to give, what would it be?”
“Carpe diem.”
“So basically YOLO?”
“Nah man c’mon, I ain’t about that life.”

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