This week in sports: A cheat-sheet for non-fans

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Have you ever:

1. Yelled “TOUCHDOWN!” after the Red Sox hit a home run?

2. Become more excited about the Super Bowl commercials than the actual game?

3. Asked how many innings there are in a basketball game?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, pay attention because you’re not completely hopeless yet.

For many people, following sports is a religion. They memorize every stat, every play, and know everything there is to know about the players on their favorite team. A large number of people, however, couldn’t care less about who is in the World Series or who is ranked #1 in college football. Unfortunately, this can put those people in tough spots when surrounded by drunk guys at a bar who can’t stop talking about Tom Brady. But don’t worry, you’re in luck. Here at the BlogDailyHerald, we care about the well-being of all students, so we created a quick cheat-sheet for what has been happening in the sports world.

The World Series: Tonight, the Boston Red Sox have a chance at winning the World Series versus the St. Louis Cardinals. What are the implications of this, you may ask? Well, if you couldn’t tell by its title, it is the WORLD Series, the chance to become this year’s best baseball team. Unlike football, which decides its champion in one game, the World Series is played as a best-of-7 series. As of now, Boston leads 3-2, and has a chance to clinch it. After a victory in St. Louis, the Red Sox have momentum as they enter Game 6 at Fenway Park (for those who don’t know, Fenway is in Boston). Personally, I think baseball is a little boring, but World Series games always add some extra excitement.

Two players to know:

1) David Ortiz a.k.a. Big Papi a.k.a. The home run hitting, tobacco chewing, monster from the Dominican Republic. This World Series, Big Papi has hit a mind-blowing .733. In non-baseball terms, that means he has hit almost in THREE FOURTHS of his at-bats. If you compare that to the rest of the team (their combined batting average is .144), it’s easy to tell Big Papi is an animal.

2) John Lackey has been named the Red Sox starting pitcher for tonight. He is 2-1 this postseason with an ERA (earned run average, basically how many runs they have allowed, not including fielding errors) of 3.26.

The NBA Started: Elsewhere in the sports world, the National Basketball Association opened up its season last night with a couple of key match-ups. The Heat, coming off an NBA Championshi,p played the Bulls. The Heat easily won 107-95, but the real headline was Derrick Rose’s (D-Rose) return after sitting out last year with an ACL injury. In his return, Rose scored 12 points. What you should really be taking away is that the Heat have the best player in the league, LeBron James (who is still kind of an asshole), and are looking to make another title run this season.

Another thing to know about the NBA is that the Los Angeles Lakers are the most detestable group of athletes in sports. Okay, okay, I’m from the West so I may have SOME bias, but it’s safe to say that everyone who lives outside of Southern California hates the Lakers. Unfortunately, they beat the Clippers 116-103.

In the local scene, the Boston Celtics have their first game tonight at 7, and are hoping to get off to a good start despite losing their “Big Three,” Kevin Garnett, Ray Allen, and Paul Pierce (that’d be like if the Jonas Brothers were to break up… oh wait). On the bright side, the Celtics do have Kris Humphries, who was married to Kim Kardashian for all of 72 days.

The NFL: This season, the  New England Patriots are 6-2 and are in first place in the AFC East. The Patriots are the lone Boston-area team to bill themselves as representative of the entire New England area, so they are extra Providence-relevant. Besides the fact that they are a bunch of criminals–I’m talking to you, Aaron Hernandez–they are dominating the field. They also have Tom Brady, who is married to Gisele Bundchen… I don’t think I need to say anything else. They play the Steelers this Sunday.

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