My first semester is just half-way over and I’m already beginning to feel nostalgia for my first few weeks at Brown. In that ephemeral time, everything is new and exciting in a way that it will never be again. There are many “firsts” that you will never forget–the first house party, the first class we ever shopped, the first time at the Ratty. There is one “first” considered more sacred than others: the first spicy with. Losing your spicy with virginity is like losing your… well, you know where I’m going with this. Here’s a combination of your two favorite things: cheesy movie quotes (no pun intended) used to describe your first spicy with. The saga begins after the jump.
You walk in to Jo’s. It’s 1:26 a.m. You see the line, but you’ve gotta hang in there. We know you really have to pee, too.
The worker behind the counter asks you what you want. Just a counter separates you, but her skill and wisdom set her apart—they’re only the type that a BDS-er could achieve. You request a spicy with, and when she clarifies to make sure you want it “with,” you tell her,
Jack cheese, that is.
She makes you the sandwich and hands it over carefully as if it’s as precious as a gold medal. The chef-mastermind behind this work of art tells you which sauce to use before you even have the opportunity to ask. She can sense you’re a virgin. She says,
You nod in amazement.
You use a meal credit to pay (#winning). Everything is going perfectly.
Finally, the tension will break. You’re about to take your first bite, and time seems to stand still because you know this very second will never happen again.
Magic. Pure magic.
It isn’t love at first bite. It’s so much more than that.
You can already tell that this is the one… this spicy with is the late-night sandwich for you.
Your friends are ready to leave and head to late-night on Wriston. A typical first-year move post-Jo’s. But you protest with glossy eyes,
You try to explain it to them,
So they decide to let you finish.
Another freshman, unaware of the potential that Jo’s brings, walks past your table. She whispers to her friend,