We’ve got the November Blues

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November sucks. It plays with our emotions by giving us false hopes of better days (i.e. December). This month is just weird in particular. It’s kinda just there, like that TA in class who no one really acknowledges. Sadly, we are unable to fast forward to the holidays when people are jolly, ugly sweaters are no longer ugly, and Mariah Carey serenades us down every street. Below are a few reasons why November makes everyone gloomy and should just be cancelled, and some solutions to get you to December safely and soundly (emphasis on soundly).

Stores cruelly lie.

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Please CVS, Starbucks, and Urban Outfitters, have mercy. It’s not yet Christmas, and by putting up all these elaborate holiday decorations and serving delicious gingerbread and eggnog drinks you’re only reminding us that it’s not yet Christmas. Stop trying to make it happen! It’s not going to happen (yet)! I mean, would it really kill you to go crazy on the turkey decorations and fill the place with assorted squashes?

Solutions: Buy your own Thanksgiving decorations for your dorm, like turkey window stickers, or try making your own cornucopia and leaf-themed adornments. If you’re lacking in the creative department, this is when you hit up your RISD connections. Buy some pumpkin pie or “Toddlers in adorably puffy coats playing in crunchy leaves” scent diffusers, because I’m pretty sure Yankee Candle offers both of these options.

The weather is funky.

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Snow in December is lovely. Snow in November is just wrong. When the holidays are near, a little snow creates a magical atmosphere, like Disneyland sans the uncooperative mascots (all I wanted was an autograph Mickey why you gotta do me like that?). In November though, snow is just icky and makes us want to hibernate more than we already do. During snowy December days, you’re more inclined to go out and frolic with your buddies, build elaborate penises snowmen, and have snowball fights that rival the Alamo. During snowy November days, you turn into Grumpy Cat.

Solutions: You can’t control the weather, but you can try to better cope with it. And by this I mean leaving your dorm minimally. Stock up on food, and tidy up your room to create a clean and comfortable study environment. Being able to study in your room is quite the challenge, but if you’re able to do this effectively, congratulations. You’ve won college.

Squirrels are MIA.

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As you may already know, I am especially fond of our squirrel brethren on campus, and their diminished presence is devastating to me. I know I’m not alone, though. Admit it: your walk to class feels weird now that there aren’t dozens of these adorable critters scurrying about, some even smugly carrying around entire spicy withs. You might occasionally see one or two climbing up a tree, but they just don’t seem as animated as before. It’s freaky.

Solutions: You have to learn to let go. Our squirrel buddies will be back in action because our school is not Yale. In the meantime, learn to love the other little creatures that share our campus. I mean, skunks can be pretty cute when they’re not unleashing their fumes of death, right? And birds are pretty adorable themselves, when they’re not acting as alarm clocks at 4 a.m. In this intense cold, it is unlikely that you’ll see any of these animals at all, so watch these videos to fill that void in your heart.

Nostalgia suddenly hits you like that unexpected Canvas grade notification.

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Until now, you’ve probably been pretty good at not calling your parents 10 times a day or browsing through endless pictures of your cat and lamenting all those moments you weren’t there to watch her grow. However, November has a way of making us incredibly homesick. You’re so close to leaving you can almost taste it, but it still feels so far. We’re compelled to start our countdown home hoping to alleviate a bit of our homesickness, but that will probably only make you more impatient.

Solution: Keep yourself occupied. You might want to get an early start on studying for finals, or if you’re a science student, hit the SciLi to study for that last batch of midterms. Another great and less stressful way to get your mind off of things is baking. And eating. So, bake some yummy brownies and later eat all those yummy brownies by yourself because that walk to Whole Foods basically nullifies the calories, so don’t even trip.

Good luck getting through this month, folks! If you need any more survival tips, I’ll be in my room napping and watching Santa Buddies on repeat.

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