One of the things we love about Brown is how insanely eco-friendly it is. It takes me a solid three minutes to figure out which receptacle to use to dispose of my empty Chobani container at the Blue Room. I love how condescending we are to people who use plastic water bottles. I love that our lackadaisical reluctancy to do laundry results in less water waste. But answer this question for me—if our school is capable of assigning EcoReps to every dorm and putting solar-powered garbage disposals all around campus, why does it find it so difficult to print an eco-friendly book of ingredient info at the Ratty?
If you haven’t noticed, the Ratty puts out two thick two-inch binders full of “ingredient info.” This binder is like the bible of any first-year’s campus-centered diet. It lists every dish the Ratty makes—every soup, every unidentifiable meat, every hipster concoction/veggie stew with some variation of tofu you could find on the Roots and Shoots line. It offers portion sizes, ingredients, and even the foods’ nutritional information. Considering the Ratty does a pretty good job of
giving the same foods new, creative names switching up the options every day, you can only image how many foods are listed here. So, Ratty, if you’re going to put out a bible-sized book every week, then WHY CAN’T YOU PRINT IT DOUBLE-SIDED?
Look, if anyone understands how difficult printing double-sided can be, it’s me. Before I came to Brown, I had to do manual double-sided printing. I’m not sure if this is because my printer at home wasn’t capable of automatically printing double-sided or if I was too technologically impaired to figure out how to set it up. That aside, it took me at least three tries until I could perfectly print something that wasn’t ass-backwards and belly-up. Even if I finally got it down, the skill would never stick with me. If I went a couple of days without printing something double-sided, I would totally forget how to do it and have to learn by means of fucking up all over again. The thought of an environmentalist who couldn’t handle double-sided printing without blood, sweat, and tears is pathetic.
When I got to Brown, my anxieties were eradicated. The SciLi printer could print double-sided for me? And it automatically printed double-sided? As in I don’t even need to press any buttons on the computer? Holy shit. It was like a dream come true.
The Grinch of printing stole my happiness when one day—while pondering which bruised apples to hoard from the Ratty, I stumbled across this book of ingredient information. At first, I thought it was a great resource… especially because the whole world is gluten-free nowadays. I flipped through a couple of pages before I noticed how off this binder looked. Something wasn’t right. It was more naked than I was at SexPowerGod… way more naked. Finally, it hit me. This book was not printed double-sided. What a shame.
I am frustrated and disappointed that a massive document representing the nutrients that fuel our enviro-friendly student body couldn’t have been printed double-sided. Now when I go to hoard apples, I can’t even bear looking at the binder. I would rather eat gluten than be reminded of such a careless printing error.