In what has to be the most repressive policy decision on US soil since Abraham Lincoln began censoring the Northern press during the Civil War, Brown Dining Services has decided that you can no longer put the Spicy With sauces on your fries at Jo’s. Now, let’s be clear: obviously you’re still putting sauce on your fries. But now you have to sneak it on, or maybe order a spicy with as cover, rather than just pour that shit on. It’s very frustrating.
Whatever the impetus was for this decision, I have a hard time believing the extra pouring of sauce onto fries was costing an exorbitant amount. I’m no sauce expert, but I’m betting that the price of mixing cheap barbecue sauce and sriracha together is more or less built into the $1.80 for a handful of fried potatoes. And even supposing the rationale is purely financial, and that BDS really felt it was losing big bucks from all this sauce-pouring madness, I would happily pay 20 cents more for sauce. Raise the price, don’t diminish the quality of the experience.
The new policy puts everyone in an uncomfortable position: BDS Workers, because they have to tell people not to put sauce on their fries, which I’m sure they don’t wake up every morning hoping to do; BDS Management, because they have to tell the employees to tell people not to put sauce on their fries, which they probably aren’t too jazzed about, either. And, most importantly, us–the consumers–because we have to feel shitty about breaking rules and ignoring directions when we sneak the sauce onto our fries.
So, BDS, I beg of you: end this draconian rule. Nip this problem in the bud, before we spiral into a reign of tyranny in which no sauce-related policy is too stringent. Let us eat our sauced-up fries undisturbed, please.