Useless Rankings: We made BuzzFeed’s Craziest College Confessions of 2013

As 2013 comes to an end, the Internet is ripe with end-of-the-year “best of 2013” lists: best photos, best songs, movies, and of course, best university confessions. A post on Brown Confessions made BuzzFeed’s Craziest College Confessions of 2013. Which confession? you might ask. None other than “I’ve been faking a British accent since I got to Brown and it’s gotten me so much pu**y.” Satisfied? I personally think there were a lot better ones this semester. So with that, let’s recap the top six confessions of this semester:

  1. The creep: “I knew the telescope that my grandpa gave me last summer in Weehawken would come in handy. I live in the Keeney quadrangle and some nights, when my roommate is out, I use it to look into the rooms of the girls across the courtyard. Those lollipop undies are so hot. Next time you leave the lights on, keep the shades up, I’ll be watching…”
  2. The most blasphemous: “I had forgotten that Brown University Compliments existed until a rogue post appeared on my news feed today. Sorry BlogDH.”
  3. The existential crisis: “I am a senior and I am beginning to F R E A K T H E F U C K O U T about my impending real adult life.”
  4. The asshole: “I pretend to be on board with my girlfriend’s feminist causes because she is really hot and our sex is great, but also because I know it comes from an insecurity that I can exploit when I need to. Yeah, come at me Brown.”
  5. The most relatable: “Sometimes I treat myself and I go to the Ratty soda dispenser and I pour a little ginger ale, let the foam sit, and make all these bitches wait for me to pour a little more and let the foam sit again, and repeat until I have a sexy ass full glass of delicious ginger ale.”
  6. The daredevil: “Just let out a (hopefully) silent 10 second fart in the Absolute Quiet Room at the Rock while wearing headphones. This is how I live dangerously.”

Happy holidays everyone!

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