It seems like there is a new social media craze every month, and with so many options, it has gotten impossible to keep up. Unless you have a team of publicists, there is no way you can maintain an active presence on all the various social media platforms and still write that daunting midterm paper. And no, linking your Instagram to your Facebook and Twitter will never be enough.
Friends, it’s time for some
spring late winter cleaning. But which site isn’t right for you? The following somewhat Mean Girls-themed forecast — complete with percentages! — will help:
Twitter: Unless you are a Real Housewife, Lady Gaga circa 2010, or 257 Thayer, you don’t need to be on Twitter.
80% chance of dropping, 20% chance your favorite comedian just has suuuuuch clever thoughts throughout the day that you can’t bare the idea of not reading them while you’re on the toilet.
Instagram: “I’m sorry that people are so jealous of me, but I can’t help it that I’m popular.” – Instagram
Insta may be the easiest social media app to make fun of, but it doesn’t matter. It’s fun, it’s a low time commitment, it’s colorful, and it makes you feel artistic. It’s one of the few social media outlets that allow you to express your creativity. Yes, in reality, Insta provides less in the way of art and more in the way of “someone you went to high school with is about to eat a fancy sandwich at a popular lunch spot in San Francisco.” But it’s the thought that counts, and with Facebook already on the decline, what else are you supposed to do with all your photos? Printing them out and framing them so that your memories will be preserved for years to come isn’t going to give your friends FOMO.
15% chance of dropping, 85% chance that you can’t because “think of the spring weekend pics!”
Snapchat: This isn’t a question. Snapchat is a college essential.
100% chance of not dropping, 100% chance that if you don’t already have one you need to get one.
Facebook: You don’t have to be savvy to the latest developments in the tech world to know that Facebook is losing popularity. As the social media powerhouse becomes flooded with current bosses, old science teachers, and my mom, the Millennial generation, which once worshipped the Wall, is jumping ship. Recent studies have shown that it is actually not beneficial to make everything about yourself available for public consumption forever. Weird, we didn’t see that coming. How many of us have said “I really only keep my Facebook for my photos?” With Instagram still rising in popularity, that’s no longer a legitimate excuse, and think about how much more productive you would be in the SciLi if you didn’t have Facebook? Sure, you wouldn’t be able to e-stalk the cute guy or gal sitting the cubicle next to you, but having to actually introduce yourself in order to get to know someone is ultimately in your best interests.
Now that Facebook addiction has been declared a real thing, we should all get out while we still can. There are enough ways to procrastinate without the self-loathing and anxiety that comes with maintaining an active Facebook presence.
60% chance of dropping, 40% chance that you still need it because it’s been six years and “I wish I knew how to quit you.”
Pinterest: Pinterest is an obvious choice to drop, because it is totally unrelated to college life and can only put you in a bad mood. Here’s why:
1.Posting food porn that you will never be able to find in the Ratty makes you hungry and unsatisfied.
2. Posting clothes you can’t afford on a college budget makes you frustrated and annoyed.
3. Posting travel destinations you want to vacation in to remind you of just how terrible this winter has been in Providence, and none of us really need to be reminded of that.
4. Posting pictures of cute animals make you miss your dog and make you even more homesick during the bleakest part of the semester.
100% chance that you NEED TO DROP PINTEREST BECAUSE IT COULD BE RUINING YOUR LIFE!
Google+: Stop trying to make Google+ happen, it’s NOT going to happen.
100% chance of dropping, 80% chance you never had one in the first place, 20% chance you got one by accident when trying to sign into Gmail.