Sextion: Answering your Brown Confession sex etiquette questions


Hello wonderful readers and welcome back for another (a)rousing Sextion post! As springtime approaches (we almost didn’t have snow this week!), things are going to get steamier than the windows in the Nelson on a busy winter day. Recently, I have scoured our lovely Brown University Confessions page and selected some important sex-etiquette questions that deserve some answers. Have any more questions? Feel free to email me at!

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This first question depends on a lot of different factors, as illustrated by this lovely flow chart! Follow it down and you’ll know whether you can simply text the person asking for your item back or give up hope of ever seeing it again.


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This next question is one that has boggled the minds of undergrads since the dawn of time. How do we navigate that awkward situation of asking our roommate for some “personal time?” And where do we go if they say no?

The important thing to remember is that your room, though it is a shared space between you and your roommate, is yours. You have to feel a sense of ownership of your room, to feel comfortable and at home there, and part of this comes with having a little bit of privacy to do as you want, whether it’s time to pray, masturbate, or have sex (Ed. What a trio). If you and your roommate have a good working relationship, you should have (or should now) set ground rules about these types of things. Let them know that you occasionally need the space for yourself and set up a system for asking for it. And make sure that these arrangements are mutually agreed upon and adhered to by both parties. Give them time by themselves and you should be able to get the same in return.

The text message approach is the most obvious and widely accepted method for asking to have the room to yourself, but make sure to ask in advance to have the room for an allotted amount of time. Usually the day-of is sufficient, but make sure not to cut it too close. Your roommate should not be walking back to your room when he/she gets the text that she has to stay out for another hour, or gasp the night. Others who have a really good relationship can get away with putting a note on the white board if they came back to an empty room, though you run the risk of it not being seen. And no, you never have to write them a five-page essay for any reason.

But on the flip side, it is also important to remember that while you need to have your “me” or “us”- time, you also need to respect your roommate and their schedule. So don’t be kicking them out of their room several nights a week, or on nights that they have a lot going on. Sexiling someone during midterms is just not right. So be in communication with your roommate, know their schedule and maybe you won’t even have to ask because you know they’ll be at practice for two hours on Tuesday nights and can squeeze in a little nookie during that time. But, when you can’t do it in your room for whatever reason, it may be helpful to find some alternative spaces. This is how blow jobs in Keeney laundry rooms (they have to be used for something) and sex in the basement bathrooms of Wayland happen. And why posting BrownBares is such an exciting pastime. And, as the weather really does start to heat up, you’ll find that the various greens and quads become more populated with students looking to get some action in.

So that’s that! If you have any other questions about sex-etiquette, feel free to email me at Your questions will be kept in confidence.

<3 Monica

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