Overheard at the 250th anniversary cake cutting celebration

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It was MAYHEM.

There are moments in your life when you just want to drop everything, lie down in the fetal position, and cry yourself to sleep. Brown’s 250th Anniversary cake cutting definitely qualifies as one. As I waited in the crowd for a slice of this infamous cake, I found myself smothered in a sea of feverish, hungry college students (think Spring Weekend but not as arousing fun). Still, I stood my ground and braved the mosh pit pushes and questionable odors — that cake just looked so darn yummy. Hearing the hilarious comments from everyone around me was the only thing that kept me sane. Really. So behold! I give you a list of the best student remarks during The Cutting of the Cake ‘14.

Minutes before The Cutting:

“Do you think it’ll actually be any good?”

“I came all the way from London, so, like, I should definitely be the first one to get this cake.”

“[Getting closer to the steps] I am going into the inferno, wish me luck.”

“I am ashamed.”

“I am pitiful.”

During The Cutting:

“The cake thirst is too real.”

“This is demeaning. I should feel bad.”

“[watching a server approach] THAT’S MY GUY.”

“It smells funny.”

“[Regarding the background music] Ooooh that beat is funky!”

“Mob 4 cake!”

“Just throw it at us!”

“Is this a VENLab social experiment?”

“You people are RABID.”

After The Cutting:

“So many sad little kids everywhere.”

“They pulled my belt off!”

“Screw this I’m going to Baja.”

I think Rose Dawson would have summed it up best: “We had nothing to do but wait… wait to die… wait to live… wait for an absolution… that would never come.”  

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