The 10 events you can’t miss from this weekend’s Brown 250th kickoff celebrations

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In case you’ve been living under a rock and haven’t seen the gigantic crane operating in front of University Hall, Brown is kicking off its celebration of its 250th year this weekend. The University has set up a ton — well, a quarter ton in some cases, but more on that later — of programming. Way too much for a hung over busy Brown student to get to, so we’ve boiled down this absurd brochure of events into a nice top 10 to guide you through the weekend, presented in (mostly) chronological order:

1.  Jim Kim ’82’s keynote address. The current president of the World Bank and former president of Dartmouth should have plenty of wisdom to drop on us. 2:30-3:50 p.m. in Salomon 101. Tickets are sold out, but you can still watch on a live stream. Worst case scenario, we get this:

2. “The Brown Difference” premiere. This film, directed by Oren Jacoby ’77, P’17 and Betsy West ’73, P’17, will probably be about how Brown is different from other schools. Look for mentions of student activism, and open curriculum, and naked people carrying donuts. Hopefully it doesn’t stray into these obnoxious stereotypes. Curtains up at 5 p.m. in Sayles.

3. Cake. I don’t know how to explain this so I’m just going to come out with it: There is a 600 pound cake in the shape of University Hall coming at us. It’s 3 feet high and 5 feet wide. My God. The cake cutting will take place on the Faunce steps at 6:30 p.m. Friday night.

4. Fireworks. Students in Hope and Slater have been asked to ditch their dorms for the event. We don’t know what exactly is in store, but that leads us to believe that whatever it is is going to be REAL. The fireworks are part of the same extravaganza as the cake, at 6:30 p.m. on the Faunce steps.

5. Men’s basketball vs. Dartmouth. Bruno takes on keynote speaker Kim’s former employer at 7 p.m. on Friday at Pizzitola. Tickets are $10 (but still free for Brown students, we assume).

6. Passing Strange with Sock & Buskin. Prof. Kym Moore is directing this “comedy-drama rock musical about a young African American’s artistic journey of self-discovery in Europe.” Tickets are $2.50 for this show at 8 p.m. in Stuart Theater.

7. Throwing paper airplanes at the moon. There’s a perfectly good explanation for what this is, but I don’t want to put it here, because I want you all to believe that we’ll literally be throwing paper airplanes at the moon. 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. in Granoff N441.

8. President’s Colloquium, “Bridging the Great Divide: Politics, Polarization, and Progress in 21st Century America.” The lineup for this panel is absolutely stacked: “Rhode Island Governor Lincoln Chafee ’75, P’14 P’17; New Hampshire Governor Maggie Hassan ’80, P’15; Delaware Governor Jack Markell ’82; Vermont Governor Peter Shumlin P’14.” Who knew Brown alums had such a weird amount of sway over American politics?

9. Thomas Perez ’83’s keynote address in Salomon on Saturday at 11:15 p.m. This guy is in charge of the Department of Labor and has an extensive record of fighting for Americans’ civil rights. On Tuesday, Jim Morone is going to stand on that same stage and totally geek out.

10. Architectural tours of campus. 10 a.m. and 3 p.m. Saturday at Brown’s Moore Sculpture. There are a lot of buildings on campus. Let’s learn more about them.

Check this Facebook event for more information about the weekend. It’s gonna be quite something. Here’s the entire calendar as well.

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