12 Days of Spring Weekend: The S.T.W.’s

We are a small but not insignificant subset of the Brown community, but if you start to talk to us about Spring Weekend, our stomachs slowly churn. It has nothing to do with any disappointment in the lineup, or indecision about which tanks to buy and which to ignore (you need a different one for every day, people, it’s like a Halloween costume). No, on the contrary: we would be desperate to plunge into Spring Weekend to the fullest extent. But the higher powers seem to have willed it a different way for us. We are Senior Thesis Writers.

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We are S.T.W.’s; hear our voices.

You see, for a great many of us S.T.W.’s, novella-length stacks of parchment, coil-bound and sheathed in plastic, products of our own intrepid research, are to be distributed to the requisite series of departments and advisors on or around April 15th. And an almost-as-great many of us S.T.W.’s will be scrambling, as ever, to slap conclusions and bibliographies on our documents up until the very last minute, even without the debauched distractions of Spring Weekend.

So how can we quash the big T of S.T.W. and roll into SW ’14? Here are some of my ideas. (You will excuse me if my list is somewhat incomplete, like my thesis.)

  1. It’s not too late to drop your thesis. You didn’t know what you were getting into. In 2010, 11 out of 33 Econ S.T.W.’s dropped out (of the thesis process, not out of Brown, I assume, although this article is not clear about it). You can too!
  2. You can try to finish your thesis a week early, before SW ’14! (Lol time management)
  3. You can bring the party to your library carrel. After all, it might take those concrete walls on Level B to drown out the sound coming from the Main Green.

    By arranging your books in rainbow order, you're one step closer to a party in your carrel.

    By arranging your books in rainbow order, you’re one step closer to a party in your carrel.

  4. You can try writing the thesis on party drugs. “On” as in, “while using,” not, “about,” but maybe you can work it in somehow. What’s the worst that could happen? At least it will feel nice.
  5. How about partying on thesis drugs? Fraddy at the Ratty! Does that count for something?

The real question, of course, is, why the Brown University Fun Committee and the Brown University Academic Committee seem to work in totally different buildings and never share notes (further evidence: I always have class during Super Heavy Petting). That’s one for the ages.

Image via (gasp).

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