The care-free haze of September is winding down and workloads are increasing; in other words, it’s time to procrastinate. Brimming with gossip, news, funny articles, and Buzzfeed quizzes, Facebook is obviously your best friend in the distraction department. Unfortunately, it’s easy to fall into the trap of liking pages—especially some of Brown’s many novelty accounts—that seem interesting at first, but eventually prove to be rather annoying. Some are underwhelming, others are outdated, and soon enough you’re left with a cluttered mess on your newsfeed.
Because of this, the art of pruning is integral to keeping a happy and healthy newsfeed. So, in order to help optimize your Brown-related Facebook content, I have rated and ranked five of Brown’s most popular novelty pages:
1. Brown University Confessions. My personal favorite, Brown University Confessions posts anonymous confessions by Brown students. Perhaps the greatest characteristic of the page is its wide range of tones; posts can be serious, vehement, candid, or just plain weird. The page is updated frequently on weekdays and almost all of its posts are highly relatable and/or funny. Confessions is Brown’s most liked novelty page, and with good reason — it’s extremely entertaining and great for your newsfeed. 9.5/10
2. Brown University Snaps. Brown University Snaps posts about 1-2 screenshots of students’ Snapchats each day. The page is light-hearted; while it lacks Confessions’s occasional serious post, it never fails to be engaging and entertaining. Not too invasive and almost always good for a quick laugh, Brown University Snaps is a solid page that’s definitely worth liking. 9/10
3. Brown Professor Quotes. Brown Professor Quotes captures some of our professors’ most memorable statements. The page, which is updated once or twice daily, is usually quite funny—especially if you know the professor who’s being referenced. The humor is accessible to pretty much any student, which is a huge plus, and it’s great if you’re looking for some PG-13 comedy (instead of the obscene posts that sometimes end up on Confessions). Occasionally trite but almost always entertaining, Brown Professor Quotes is safe to like. 7.5/10
4. Baes of Brown University. I love the word “bae”— it’s endearing, versatile, and casual. I do not, however, particularly enjoy Baes of Brown University, a newly-created page inspired by Humans of New York and geared towards “increas[ing] visibility of all ‘baes’ on Brown University’s campus in efforts to facilitate a change in their circumstance.” Unfortunately, BOB fails to capture the drama and occasional humor/cuteness that make HONY’s posts so enjoyable. At this point, BOB isn’t quite entertaining enough to like; however, it might not hurt to keep an open mind, since the page has only been around for just over a week. 5.5/10
5. Brown Admirers/Brunonian Crushes (tie). These two pages allow students to anonymously post messages to people they either appreciate or find attractive. One notable distinction between the two is that Admirers is not a page, which means that you have to send a friend request in order to have posts appear on your newsfeed (Crushes, on the other hand, is a page). Other than that, the two accounts are fairly similar. It’s kind of nice to check Admirers and Crushes every now and then, but if you subscribe to their posts, then you run the risk of having your newsfeed become saturated with shout-outs to people you don’t know. Overall, Admirers and Crushes probably aren’t worth liking. [Ed. But, a shoutout on Brown Admirers is shamefully a pretty big ego boost…] 5/10
Josiah Carberry. A beloved university tradition, this elusive professor comes alive in the virtual world as an account for students and alumni to follow. If you choose to send him a friend request, be prepared for a lot of disappointment; he cancels pretty much every opportunity there is to meet him in person. Josiah’s account is fun to follow if you enjoy Brown’s quirky side.
Shoes of Brown. This page, which is similar to HONY, features Brown students and their shoes. Posts can be serious or light-hearted, and are overall somewhat enjoyable. However, it’s currently tough to tell whether Shoes of Brown will continue being active this school year (the last post was published over the summer), so I would hold off on liking it until things become more clear.
@brown_bananas_. Last winter, @brown_bananas_ was a thriving source of entertainment. The Twitter account featured pictures of Brown students eating bananas in public places like the Ratty. In its prime, the account was surprisingly hilarious. Unfortunately, its momentum seems to be slowing to a halt; tweets appear much less frequently and the leader of the account seems to be pretty over it as well. At this rate, I wouldn’t bother following @brown_bananas_.
Brown University Compliments. Brown University Compliments used to be a popular page where students could anonymously say nice things to their peers or to other members of the Brown community. Sadly, the page seems to be in decline, so there’s not really any reason to like it.
And with that, happy procrastinating!