Believe it or not first-years (though it may still feel like a weird, prolonged summer camp to some), we’ve made it through a whole month here at Brown. Congratulations! In honor of that milestone, here are 50 thoughts you’ve probably had sometime in this past month:
1. Bye parents!
2. Wait, no, I miss you. Don’t leave me.
3. Ooh, I recognize that kid from the Class of 2018 Facebook group. This is weird.
4. What is with all these acronyms?
5. You are so cool. Be my friend please.
6. How does one even make friends?
7. You told me your name, but I forgot it immediately.
8. Why is it nicknamed “The Ratty,” and should I be concerned?
9. My butt is going to get so effing toned from all these stairs.
10. The water pressure is severely underwhelming.
11. Why is everyone so beautiful?
12. Why is everyone so smart?
13. How did they even let me into this school?
14. Why are all the athletes 7 feet tall and look like they’re pushing 30?
15. Why is everyone snapping?
16. The stairwells in List are so cool.
17. Why are people always screaming on the Andrews terrace? What are you even screaming about? Go to bed.
18. Gourmet Heaven is dangerously convenient. (Why did I just buy a $6 jar of maple-flavored peanut butter?)
19. Why does that guy never wear shoes? Is he invincible to dog poop?
20. I’m pretty sure the mailboxes here are just tiny, impenetrable fortresses.
21. The desks at the Rock must have witnessed so many existential crises.
22. Is it possible to still have lingering symptoms of Senioritis?
23. Why are my clothes scalding hot coming out of the dryers here? Are they fueled by dragon’s breath?
24. Why is the VDub always closed?
25. I have no idea how my meal plan works.
26. What is the “Ivy Room?”
27. Why are there so many people in the Ratty at lunchtime?
28. Wow, the weather’s so beautiful!
29. The squirrels on the main green are C-O-N-F-I-D-E-N-T.
30. Do I actually have to do all the reading for my classes?
31. Why is it so hard to get into clubs and committees here?
32. What’s the “with” in a “spicy with,” and can I get it “without?”
33. Is Providence just one eternal hill, no matter the direction?
34. Trying to power walk through a sea of people to get to my next class across campus is exhausting and not the look.
35. Mama Kim’s = life.
36. Ratty waffle fries = life.
37. Jo’s mozzarella sticks at 2a.m. = life.
38. Blue Room muffins = life. (Please bury me in Butter Rum muffins. I’ll need them later.)
39. What do you mean we drink on Wednesdays?
40. These people definitely don’t want me in their house.
41. I see that kid all the time. I feel like we’re buds, even though we’ve never met.
42. Do people actually have sex on the 14th floor of the SciLi?
43. I low-key kind of miss high school.
44. Seeing tour groups everywhere gives me PTSD flashbacks of the college process.
45. Baes of Brown is bae.
46. Where is the “Upspace,” and why are people naked in it?
47. Why does everyone here have their shit together but me?
48. College is scary. And I have no idea what I’m doing.
49. But at least we’ve got 4 more years to figure it out.
50. I <3 Brown.