When you go to parties on campus, you may notice certain trends. For one, there’s always that freshmen couple voraciously going at it on the couch (they probably met through Brown Hookups– good for them). There’s also that person trying too hard to be the life of the party by yelling “Yeah!” or “Wooo!” and making other throaty sounds that make us slightly uncomfortable. By now, you may have also realized that there are specific songs that are played at every party you attend, no matter what. Here is a guide to understanding Brown’s favorite party music!
Turn Down for What- Lil Jon
Lil Jon has done it again! This is the “Get Low” of the modern age. Have no doubt that once this song starts playing, people will go apeshit, so it may be wise to seek cover; beer will spill, and heads will roll (jk). Everyone in the room will suddenly become the grimiest versions of themselves, all the while wondering what the hell the lyrics actually mean. Hmm, is this possible MCM thesis material? You take a mental note.
Ignition (Remix)- R. Kelly
Mood: It’s a Wednesday night, baby, and I’m alive!
Brunonia’s fixation with this song still puzzles me. Maybe it’s just that funky beat that makes us want to get jiggy with it. Or, maybe it’s because we have a spiritual connection with R. Kelly (eek?). I mean, it is the freaking weekend, and I AM about to have me some fun! Whoa, it’s like he gets us, you know? I once saw a boy start tearing up the moment this song began to play during a Spring Weekend party, and to this day, I still wonder if he’s doing alright.
Anaconda- Nicki Minaj
Mood: Dear flat ass, don’t fail me now!
This song allegedly spurred the “big booty” movement… I’ll let you know when I figure out exactly what this entails. Anyway, this song will have everyone werkin’ and twerkin’, and all other variations of ‘erkin. It will put you in touch with your inner Nicki Minaj, so definitely proceed with caution. Also, you may find yourself popping your booty in ways you did not think possible, so make sure to have some Icy Hot back patches for the morning after.
I Follow Rivers- Lykke Li (Magician Remix)
This is the cool kid song. Anyone who is anyone obviously listens to Lykke Li, and probably saw her twice at SXSW or something. Snark aside, she is an incredibly talented musician, with the voice of a thousand Swedish angels that will leave you begging for more. This is a refreshing alternative to the slew of grind-worthy songs out there because sometimes, you just want to jump around and flail your arms without being approached by unidentified torsos. Then again, I did see some people try to grind to “Where is the Love?” once (I have not recovered), so I guess anything could happen.
Hey Ya!- OutKast
Mood: I love life, *looks at stranger next to you* and I love you, man!
Holy throwback, where do I even start with this one? This song will have everyone in the room singing along, bobbing their heads, and dancing in what can best be described as a Charlie Brown-esque manner. All troubles and drunken regrets will vanish at the first “all right all right all right.” “Hey Ya!” has been adopted by the Brown culture as an anthem for sublime happiness, and has elevated OutKast to demigod status. We’ll never admit that this is the only song of theirs we know.
Danza Kuduro- Don Omar
Mood: Fiesta, si!!!
Ok, I get it DJ, A.K.A. person manning the MacBook Pro. You want to appease all us fly Latinos out there on the dance floor. And it works. Even if you are not Latino, this song will have you with your “manos arriba, cintura sola,” and wishing you could speak Spanish. After dancing to this song, you’ll be left with a pressing desire to take salsa or cumbia lessons or, at the very least, learn more about the vibrant Hispanic music scene. There is a world beyond Daddy Yankee’s “Gasolina,” I promise!
Let it Go- Adele Dazeem
Mood: (all of them)
Yes, still. And no, I do not know why. What I do know is that once you start playing this, all the fratty brethren will be the ones getting the most into it. They will punch the air and shout out the chorus at the top of their lungs. In that moment, they swear they were infinite. Perhaps this uninhibited display of emotionality has something to do with all those years of repressed feelings, facilitated by a patriarchal society. *Sips tea* but that’s none of my business.
The song selection can make or break a party, but what some people call good music others may deem terrible. All I can do is hope to leave you with these parting words of universal wisdom: If a party suddenly starts playing screamo or Gregorian chants, get out of there ASAP. You may have found yourself in a
sticky Stefon situation.