Things our parents worry about way too much

scared paretns

For many of us, leaving home marked the start of our adult independence. Goodbye, curfews! Goodbye, babysitting our little siblings! And hello… regular phone calls checking if we’ve been brushing our teeth regularly?

Alright, so leaving home didn’t mean a complete departure from our parents for many of us. Of course, that’s not a bad thing! It’s nice knowing that they still care for us, even though that time they sold most of our stuff at the yard sale suggests otherwise—you’ll never even use that Hello Kitty stationary again, darling. Their phone calls and texts remind us that no matter how old we are, we will always be their little girl or boy.

However, there are things that seem to stress out our parents much more than they should. Below are a few topics that always make their way into our phone calls and Skype conversations with them (and Facebook wall postings, for you unlucky ones).

Our vitamin intake

vits

Even if you weren’t a regular vitamin-taker back home, your parents will expect you to stock up on One A Day and Vitamin-C powder packs for the semester. It’s as if coming to college automatically meant disregarding our health. There may or may not be some truth to this, but the point is that vitamins aren’t necessarily a cure-all to begin with. And really, as long as we’re eating a balanced meal (whoops), there is no need to pop these supplements like Tic Tacs. Different parents also seem to have different vitamin fixations. My mom is especially concerned with my fiber intake, and makes sure to send me a Costco-size box of Fiber One granola bars whenever I receive a care package. Three cheers for digestive health!

The Naked Donut Run

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“Are the donuts naked?”

We’ve explained it once, we’ve explained it twice, but our parents are still confounded by this event. Some questions that always come up when we talk about this with them are, “But why are they naked? Are they really running? Don’t they get cold? Do they touch the donuts?” (if you’ve seen “Girls,” you know that the possibility of “chachi hands” is quite worrisome). If we try to go on about how there’s nothing wrong with the naked human form, they’ll probably just argue that Brown is getting to our heads. Anyway, we’ll give this one to them; NDR is a very confusing event, but we get free fried goods and pleasant views, so why question it?

Our meal patterns

junkfoodclimatechange

GPOY

For some reasons, our parents have this idea that pizza and mozzarella sticks constitute 90% of our meals. That’s where they’re wrong… it’s more like pizza and giant Andrew’s cookies. Some of our parents fear that we become mindless junk-eating monsters when we go to the dining halls. I mean, remember those Hometown Buffet outings when you and the dessert section became one? On the other extreme, you have parents asking if we’ve remembered to eat. Dear ma and pa, there are many things we may forget to do, like shower or keep our emotional health in check, but rest assured that forgetting to eat is definitely not one of them. Like their vitamin of choice, our parents also tend to prefer a particular food. My mom is a banana fanana, and urges me to always have some in my dorm. Sorry, Ratty fruit stock…

Our texts

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For many of us, texting is the main way we communicate with our parents, so they have quickly become acquainted with the rules of texting linguistics. They are also incredibly attuned to any texting “discrepancy” on our part. For instance, if you forget to put a smiley, or write “gn” instead of your usual “goodnight!!” they will think something is up. A recent breakup, a bad grade, depression…their imagination will run wild. Or, if you have a lot of typos, and it just so happens to be a Friday night, you may soon thereafter receive a phone call and a Yahoo! article link on the dangers of vodka.

Our blog posts

parents

Our posts here on BlogDH do not always contain the most parent-friendly language. Sextion and Drunk/Sober/High, anyone? However, despite what some of our content may suggest, we’re not all sex-crazed and perpetually angry individuals. Also, our parents may question our obsession with Jesse Watters, and wonder if we’ve been spending too much time around furry animals. They are also scary good at picking up on our grammar mistakes. See above.

Parents—can’t live with them, can’t live without them. Don’t worry though, they’ll always find a way to make it feel like they’re around! Whenever it feels like they’re too much around, just remember that they are only looking out for you, and whatever happens, they will always be your #1 fan. Now, go make their day by texting them with 10 smileys and a funny meme.

Images via Meredith Bilski ’14, via, via, viavia, and via Kate Storey-Fisher ’16.

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