Because we at BlogDailyHerald like to watch and pick petty fights on the Internet, we’re borrowing a most excellent series from Gawker Media’s Deadspin. The site has ranked everything from light beers to every age 40 and under, with little to no comment attached. The goal? Not just to give an unearned platform to one author’s totally not authoritative personal opinion, but also to start a conversation. This ranking may be (completely) unscientific, even “useless,” but together I know we can put together a definitive list. Comment with your staunch support or vehement disagreement!
13. Spicy Brown Mustard. It must suck to win the bronze… among the mustards.
12. Chevre Spread. What the fuck is a Chevre?
11. Yellow Mustard. Sure, it’s a classic, but why not live a little?
10. Fat Free Italian. I’m not sure what chemicals had to go into this dressing to make it fat free, but I’m into it.
9. Fat Free Honey Dijon: OK; I really just don’t like mustard that much.
8. Sriracha. Off-menu (in the way that Animal Style is off-menu), and though it’s the best hot sauce in the game, it’s hard to pair with its competitors.
7. Bistro Sauce. Still not sure what this is. Bistros are cool, though.
6. Mayonnaise. Why go mayo when you could go CHIPOTLE mayo?
5. Tabbouleh. Eat quickly. It can make a wrap soggy in minutes.
4. Caesar Dressing. Hits all the right spots between creamy, light, and actually tasty. It’s the Goldilocks of dressings. Also, #HailCaesar.
3. Chipotle Mayo. A light kick gives it more “bold flavor” than Dr. Pepper 10. Pairs particularly well with the ever-popular ciabatta.
2. Hummus. Its versatility would make it the winner if not for the Blue Room’s proximity to East Side Pockets.
1. Balsamic Vinaigrette. So uncontroversial no one could get mad about it (I hope).
As promised, the above rankings are little more than the crabby judgments of a senior who has been stuck on the 4th floor of the Rock for a few too many hours. Now let’s hear your thoughts, too!
Stay tuned for an equally unscientific ranking of Jo’s salad dressings sometime in the near future. There can only be one winner.