On the list of things that just don’t go together—which includes such atrocities as mustard and yogurt, jeans and rain, and curry and tequila (trust me)—Saturdays and finals rank number one.
This semester, two of my finals are on Saturdays. That’s right, both of the times in which I have to sit down for three hours, write down every bit of information that might possibly be relevant, and try to squeeze by on the curve, I have to do so under the heavy weight of knowledge that I’m taking a final ON A WEEKEND.
These aren’t my only final assignments, by the way. I also have two final papers, a final presentation, and a final exam masquerading as a midterm, but I can deal, because they are not ON A SATURDAY.
Saturdays are sacred. Saturday is the day to lie in bed until 1p.m., the day to get over your hangover by consuming solely bagels and yellow Gatorade (before consuming more hangover-inducing substances), the day to pretend you got a little work done, and the day that allows you to keep your sanity throughout the rest of the week.
In fact, Saturdays are literally sacred: they mark Shabbat, the day God rested after Creation, according to Judaism. I need my day of rest, too—reading and finals period are just as exhausting as creating the world. Though I don’t strictly observe Shabbat, some in our community do, and a final on Shabbat is so not kosher.
Saturday finals don’t just ruin my Saturday, they kill my Friday night as well. Everyone around me will be letting out their finals stress by going to the last parties of the year or chilling with the friends they won’t see for a month, and where will I be? Shut away in a room crying studying.
And what happens when the guys who live above me throw a rager and blast “Anaconda” all night? Where am I supposed to go to study on a Friday night, the SciLi? If you’re in the SciLi on a Friday night, you’re either doing the SciLi challenge, waiting for the Naked Donut Run, or very, very sad.
There are many other deserving days of the week on which to schedule finals. Mondays already suck, so why not put the burden of final exams on them? I understand that there are time constraints, scheduling conflicts, yada yada, but none of these are a valid excuse for a final on a Saturday.
This is a call to the all-powerful final exam schedule gods: do not, I repeat, DO NOT schedule final exams on Saturdays. It is an affront to all Saturdays and it rubs salt in the already-infected wound of finals.
As they say, nothing is certain but Saturdays and finals—but please, NOT AT THE SAME TIME.