Stuffy old Latin phrases don’t mean much anymore. Check out these updated mottos, designed to truly encapsulate the essence of prominent American colleges in a modern era!
Stanford University
Official Motto: The wind of freedom blows
Actual Motto: Seeking front-end developer with at least five years of experience in Java, HTML, and Ruby
Harvard University
Official Motto: Veritas
Actual Motto: Just a university up in Cambridge, you may have heard of it
Yale University
Official Motto: Lux et Veritas
Actual Motto: Harvard 2: Return of the Veritas
Duke University
Official Motto: Knowledge and Faith
Actual Motto: Smart kids who like Sports and Beer and more Sports
University of Pennsylvania
Official Motto: Laws without morals are useless
Actual Motto: No, it’s not the same as Penn State
Massachusetts Institute of Technology
Official Motto: Mind and Hand
Actual Motto: Bio-engineered Mind and robotically-operated Hand
Princeton University
Official Motto: Under the protection of God, she flourishes
Actual Motto: Under the protection of God, white male privilege flourishes
Dartmouth College
Official Motto: A voice crying out in the wilderness
Actual Motto: …the official motto seems about right
Brown University
Official Motto: In Deo Speramus
Actual Motto: In Politico Correctus
Columbia University
Official Motto: In Thy light shall we see light
Actual Motto: If you wanted to screw around NYC for four years of college, you should have gone to NYU
Brigham Young University
Motto: The glory of God is intelligence (unofficial)
Actual Motto: The glory of God is curbing your raging teenage sex drive
University of Chicago
Official Motto: Let knowledge grow from more to more; and so be human life enriched
Actual Motto: Where fun goes to die
Cornell University
Official Motto: I would found an institution where any person can find instruction in any study [Ed: what?]
Actual Motto: ‘Ithaca can be tolerable during certain months of the year’
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