The actual mottos of American universities

Stuffy old Latin phrases don’t mean much anymore. Check out these updated mottos, designed to truly encapsulate the essence of prominent American colleges in a modern era!

Stanford University

Stanford Logo

Official Motto: The wind of freedom blows

Actual Motto: Seeking front-end developer with at least five years of experience in Java, HTML, and Ruby 


Harvard University

Harvard Crest

Official Motto: Veritas

Actual Motto: Just a university up in Cambridge, you may have heard of it


Yale University

Yale Logo

Official Motto: Lux et Veritas

Actual Motto: Harvard 2: Return of the Veritas

Duke University

Duke Logo

Official Motto: Knowledge and Faith

Actual Motto: Smart kids who like Sports and Beer and more Sports


University of Pennsylvania


Official Motto: Laws without morals are useless

Actual Motto: No, it’s not the same as Penn State


Massachusetts Institute of Technology

MIT Logo

Official Motto: Mind and Hand

Actual Motto: Bio-engineered Mind and robotically-operated Hand


Princeton University

Princeton Logo

Official Motto: Under the protection of God, she flourishes

Actual Motto: Under the protection of God, white male privilege flourishes


Dartmouth College

Dartmouth College Logo

Official Motto: A voice crying out in the wilderness

Actual Motto: …the official motto seems about right


Brown University

Brown Logo

Official Motto: In Deo Speramus

Actual Motto: In Politico Correctus


Columbia University


Official Motto: In Thy light shall we see light

Actual Motto: If you wanted to screw around NYC for four years of college, you should have gone to NYU


Brigham Young University

BYU Logo

Motto: The glory of God is intelligence (unofficial)

Actual Motto: The glory of God is curbing your raging teenage sex drive


University of Chicago


Official Motto: Let knowledge grow from more to more; and so be human life enriched

Actual Motto: Where fun goes to die


Cornell University

cornell logo

Official Motto: I would found an institution where any person can find instruction in any study [Ed: what?]

Actual Motto: ‘Ithaca can be tolerable during certain months of the year’

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