Things that rhyme: Brown edition

2014 was an exciting time for anyone who had a penchant for clever wordplay, and too much time on their hands. Jews of Brown, Shoes of Brown. Brown Hook-ups, Brown Cookups. Baes of Brown, and then Neighs of Brown. (That one may have been a bit of a stretch.) Have you picked up on the trend? Things that rhyme are hilarious! Comedy, like, in one sentence!!

UnFortunately, it’s a new year, and it’s time to move on to fresh, surely less creative trolls. Some of these Facebook pages have already buckled under the pressure of maintenance, but we wanted to personally nip this in the bud.

From the people that arguably have the most verbal flair, and certainly have the most time to waste, here is an exhaustive list of things that rhyme with Brown Facebook pages.

Jews/Shoes of Brown

Blues of Brown – A page advertising various blues bands and/or Blue Man group wannabes.

Coups of Brown – A platform for those seeking tips in staging a hostile takeover, or who want to discuss their previous results at attempting to overthrow their superiors.

News of Brown – Potential rebranding for the Brown Daily Herald?

Ewes and Gnus of Brown – celebrating the wildlife of Providence.

ewegnu-animal

Brown Confessions

Brown Obsessions: An online community dedicated to celebrating Beyonce, the word “heteronormative,” and free condoms.

Brown Transgressions: Basically, the same exact thing as the Confessions page.

Brown Impressions: For people who appreciate the soul/R&B group from 1960s. No relation to the ability to impersonate another person’s voice.

Baes/Neighs of Brown

Lays of Brown: To showcase the variety and intersectionality of our potato chip preferences on campus.

Rays of Brown: A page for sharing your favorite sun-bathing spots.

Days of Brown: A soap opera program potentially coming to a studio near you.

Wheys of Brown: Bro-tein lovers unite, whether you are jacked, buff, ripped, torn up, swole, or none of the above.

Brown Admirers

Brown Perspirers – Brown’s fifteen hottest freshman did not go far enough. We want to make (and see) everybody sweat. Pit stains, underboob dew, and swamp ass are vastly under appreciated.

HottestFrosh10

Brown Inquirers – The Brunonian version of Ghostbusters. Or CSI. Who you gonna call? Brown Inquirers! (We’re still working on the theme song).

Brown Acquirers – A page exclusively for buying and selling things on campus, as opposed to spamming your class of 20** page.

Brown Retirers – For all the upperclassmen, senior citizens, and folks who have been done since high school.

Brown Hook-ups/Cookups

Brown Look ups – It will be just like the yellow pages, but brown! We’re going to have pick our font color carefully…

Brown Shook ups – For people who have just been through jarring experiences/existential crises.

SciLi Duck

SciLi Muck – It gets muddy in PVD. Let us come together and appreciate that mud.

SciLi Yuck – Regrettable study munchies.

scili truck

SciLi Truck – the newest BUDS mobile eatery, fashioned in the same brutalist style as its namesake. Keep an eye out for this block of cement on wheels.

So we effectively killed the joke. You’re welcome. And of course, this list wouldn’t be complete without us making fun of ourselves:

Brought to you by BlogDailyGerald.

Gerald's_Tonsils

Images via, via, via Albie Brown ’16, and via.

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