A Valentine’s Day guide to concentration-oriented pick-up lines

We’ve all been there. You’re at a rollicking social event, a certain special someone catches your eye, and you want to make a lasting connection — but you’ve exhausted the standard name/grade/concentration introductory trifecta. Where to move from there, with Valentine’s Day rapidly approaching on the calendar?

Thankfully, elaborating upon the diverse array of concentrations offered here at Brown University is perfect for taking the conversation one step forward. Pretend like you actually know a thing or two about their field of study and woo the person of your choice just in time for February 14th with this collection of romantic, concentration-oriented phrases:

Chemistry

Geology

He/she/phe says: “I’m concentrating in Chemistry.”

You say: “Interesting. Tell me, are you sensing any chemistry right now?”

History

peter green

He/she/phe says: “Oh, I concentrate in History.”

You say: “History? Sounds like my ex-girlfriend/ex-boyfriend. Speaking of which, are you single?”

Archaeology

He/she/phe says: “I’m an Archaeology major.”

You say: “Archaeology? The study of old news? Sounds like my ex-girlfriend/ex-boyfriend. Speaking of which, are you single?”

Math

Math

He/she/phe says: “I study Math.”

You say: “Wow, you should tutor me one-on-one. I’m serious – I’ve failed Calc 900 three times already. I’m not hitting on you. Please just help me. I’m desperate.”

English

 English

He/she/phe says: “I’m an English major.”

You say: “Ingles? No hablo Ingles. Solamente hablo el Idioma del Amor.”

International Relations

IR

He/she/phe says: “I’m concentrating in IR.”

You say: “IR? Intimate Relations? What a coincidence, so am I!”

Engineering

Engineering

He/she/phe says: “I’m an engineer.”

You: Walk away immediately because engineers will always be wedded more to their work than to you.

Economics        

Economics

He/she/phe says: “I study Economics.”

You say: “Really? Because nine out of ten economists agree that I possess a comparative advantage in smooching.”

Africana Studies

Africana Studies

He/she/phe says: “I’m an Africana Studies major.”

You say: “Cool. We should get dinner sometime.”

Computer Science

 Computer Science

He/she/phe says: “I study CS.”

You say: “Sunlab? More like Funlab, am I right?! Please just marry me. I’m an English major and I will need a steady source of income when I am older.”

Biology

Arnold Lab

He/she/phe says: “I study biology.”

You: Refrain from making a gross joke about human anatomy unless you want to seem like a giant creep.

Geology

 Geology

He/she/phe says: “I’m majoring in Geology.”

You say: “If you were a type of rock, you’d definitely be an igneous rock. Because it used to be lava. Which is pretty hot.”

MCM

 MCM

He/she/phe says: “I study Modern Culture and Media.”

You say: “I study CS. Marry me because you will need a steady source of income when you are older.”

Political Science

Political Science 

He/she/phe says: “I’m a PoliSci concentrator.”

You say: “Don’t know much about geography,
Don’t know much trigonometry.
Don’t know much about algebra,
Don’t know what a slide rule is for.
But I do know that one and one is two,
And if this one could be with you,
What a wonderful world this would be.”

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1 Comment

  1. Confused

    Isn’t the point of phe that it’s gender neutral and thus rather than saying “he/she/phe” you can just say “phe”?

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