Hi there! I’m Lana Del Foreplay, BlogDailyHerald’s new Sextion writer. I am so excited to take over this semester. Over the next few months, columns will cover everything from crushes to sex to love, with little anecdotes sprinkled in between to (hopefully) give you a teeny bit of insight into sex both at and away from Brown. Can’t wait to get down and dirty with you all.
During these snowy nights, I can’t help but wish there were someone snuggling up beside me to keep me warm in my twin bed. But without any currently viable options in the love department, I roll over and pick up my phone. What used to be a “hey, what’s up?” text to a romantic interest has been replaced with anywhere from five to 55 minutes of flicking through photos of people between ages twenty to 28 within a five mile radius. I see someone cute, take 20 seconds to look through all of their photos and read their blurb, and finally swipe right because I am bored. A match! Here we go…
As someone who has had over hundreds of matches throughout my tenure on Tinder (#notsohumblebrag), I have talked to many a phe I would not have had the
pleasure chance of meeting otherwise. I won’t lie: it is an amazingly modern way for singles to mingle. Now I’m not sure if it’s the people I am choosing or just the plethora of options on Tinder, but the majority of people I talk to are weird, to put it kindly. From the classic “you horny?” to the seemingly sweet “you’re cute :),” which turns into “I want to cum on your face,” it can be hard to tell who is a normal person and who is a psychotic nymphomaniac axe murderer.
While this could deter me from the whole concept, when I think about the other ways I could meet someone — standing in the Blue Room sandwich line, Whiskey Wednesday, Brown Hookups (please email me if this has worked for you; I am extremely curious) — aren’t the chances of meeting someone desirable someone and hitting it off around the same? So during dry spells, is it better to go without sex or to try to find a Tinder rando to get it on with? In celibacy versus potential murder and/or awkward date and/or sex, is Tinder the lesser of two evils?
The answer, from my own experience: YES. One boring day at my internship this summer, I started Tinder talking to Matt, a hot 25-year old bartender I never would have met at the GCB or in the Leung Family Gallery. He asked me to hang out within hours of talking, and we had an extremely successful date that night. What resulted was a weeklong affair, filled with passion, laughter, and lots and lots of kissing. While he was not my soulmate, it was definitely better sex than I had had with half of the people I have hooked up with at Brown, many of whom have been culminations of “playing hard to get,” text analyses with my friends, and days/weeks/a semester/an academic year of build-up. So for the sake of fun and spontaneity, I say go for it! Swipe right on that hottie from your ENGN9 lecture, a recent graduate living in Providence, or someone totally random. You never know who could be a fun one-night stand, a new friend with benefits, or even a significant other (trust me, it happens!). Happy Tindering, Brunonians!
Image via Jason Hu ’15.