What’s hot… and what’s not

You have no idea. We do. Let us learn you.

What’s Hot:

Aquatic Life

The outpour of support for aquatic life can be found here. And here. Basically it’s all anyone can talk about nowadays. Hop on the bandwagon and visit an aquarium. Sharks are dope. They kill people, but they are also endangered? Scary but sensitive. Dual-motha-fucking-threat. Like the aquatic Miley Cyrus. Even Lupita Nyong’o wore a dress made entirely out of the jewels of the sea.

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College Basketball

College Basketball. So hot right now. College Basketball. This prediction has been made before. There’s something about the calendar turning to March that makes everyone suddenly interested in college hoops.

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Snow

Well not actually, but this guy is everywhere! I can’t step out of my dorm without seeing this annoying bastard.

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Brown Men’s Hockey

The team has put together a nice point streak and looks to continue it this weekend against Cornell and Colgate. Fellow blogger/male model Hank Winton has been mistaken for a hockey player TWICE in the last week. I am not going to attribute the point streak to Hank, but Hank is for sure taking credit for it. Boom. Hank and Hockey, so hot right now.

Russell C. Carey

What’s not to like about this guy? He cancels class and he even sat down with the Blog to discuss. Also, a man who rocks the middle initial, too hot to handle. Too. Hot.

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What’s Not:

Outside

It’s sooo not hot outside.

The Nelson Fitness Center

We’re currently at the height of nobody-working-out season, so it seems natural that the biggest gym on campus would fall on this list. Walking through the cold to Nelson makes it all not worth it. Live with your weak bodies until the snow melts. I have personally boycotted the Nelson all year, because it is so not hot right now (also because I am in terrible shape and don’t need anyone judging me in my compression shorts).

All shoes… except snow boots

Birkenstocks have taken a sharp downturn in popularity, and the only shoes that can be worn in this weather are snow boots. Those who don’t wear them will regret it.

WiFi

Has anyone had a consistent WiFi signal since break? Neither has anyone else. Let’s all talk about it. #Brown-Guest. I’m trying to watch porn lectures, Brown. Get it together.

The Oscars

I guess no one told NPH that there’s a difference between the Oscars and the Tonys… Also NPH, bro, we know you were packing your underwear. Lying about crotch size is such a not hot move.

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