It’s reading period, Brunonians, so it’s time to study up. And no, I’m not talking about learning BioChem or about the American presidency; I’m talking about perfecting your pick-up method. As my tenure at Blog is finishing up (stay tuned for my “Senior Send-Off“), I want to take my final columns to parlay my greatest acquired knowledge from my time in college, which means sharing my patented 3-step method to hooking up with whoever you want. It’s not guaranteed to work 100% of the time, but trust me, the success rate is high.
1. Choose wisely: Something I have learned over time is that it’s harder to hook up with someone if you have no idea what you are looking for (unless it’s a random DFMO with someone whose name you can’t hear over the blaring EDM). You can’t just show up at a party and expect something to happen. Therefore, when I go to a bar/party, I scan the room and look for people I’m attracted to. From there, I pick which one I’m going to make an effort with. Just like applying to college, it’s easier to narrow down your options, instead of applying everywhere.
2. Engage: This is definitely the hardest step, and something my friends often complain about.
“Am I supposed to just go up and talk to this phe I think is super hot?” they ask incredulously. Answer: yes. You literally have nothing to lose, except maybe ten minutes of a bruised ego if it doesn’t work. It either goes well, and you progress; or it doesn’t, and you move on to greener pastures.
Once you muster the courage, this can take any route you feel most comfortable with: I usually go up to them and make some sort of joke about something happening at the party, but I have a friend who just goes up and introduces herself (and this girl gets it). Whatever you do, you want to make sure you are in a 1:1 convo, because when making a first impression, it can be pretty hard to make yourself stand out in a group — even with the shining personality I know you have. Talking + laughter OR serious conversation + eye contact + flirty arm touches = connection and attraction. This bond is key.
3. To close: I usually do step 2 near the end of my time at the party, so I can close easier. My go-to is, “I think I’m going to head out. What are you up to now?” This usually makes it pretty obvious what you’re getting at, but also gives the person an out if they decide they aren’t interested. If you don’t want to commit to that, you can exchange numbers and agree to get coffee/lunch/hang out, which is casual and can lead to more than just a one night thing. As long as you leave a closing impression that is positive, you have positioned yourself in the right spot.
As I said, this doesn’t always work, and if you have a different tactic, go with that. But for those of us who have a little trouble talking to our crushes (I successfully employed this method on the inspiration for that article) or want to seal the deal with that one friend, it can be helpful to have these handy directions to follow. So study up, and put yourself out there! The year’s almost over — don’t miss out on that one person you’ve been eyeing for months because you were too shy. You never know; they could be eyeing you, too.