I do not consider myself a particularly aggressive person. I mean, I’m able to peacefully accept that there aren’t any more ciabatta rolls left at the Blue Room without squirting Sriracha in someone’s eye, most of the time. I’m also fairly good at not tackling anyone as I make my way out of those pesky Wilson doors and go sprint to my next class. If there is one thing that royally pisses me off, though, it’s the lot of cheeky students who pack up 5-10 minutes before class ends, just to make sure everyone hears and sees them. Here’s the deal:
A) the professor is still talking,
B) you are distracting me, and many other students who are trying to understand the material and,
C) your actions will now trigger a domino effect of rustling papers, scooting chairs, and zipping backpacks, a.k.a. the most scathing sounds in human history.
In short, you are telling the professor, and everyone else in class, that they are operating on your schedule. In short short, you are making me have a nervous breakdown, and I’d love to keep my sanity for at least two more months, thank you very much.
I get it. Maybe you have to leave early because your class is on the other side of campus. Or, maybe you have a very important appointment to keep with C-Pax, or that hunky Tinder match. Or, maybe you just discovered that there is such thing as too much guac… In these cases, it’s okay if you’re discreet about leaving early, and try to make as unostentatious an exit as possible through the back door.
Most of you early-packers, however, probably just have ants in your pants, or possess the attention span of a mouse. Don’t you want to get the most out of this precious lecture time? Do you have any regard for common etiquette and respect? Also, why must you rustle your papers and shuffle your notebooks and put down your pop-up tables like you’re in the damn Blue Man group?
So, please, for the love of all that is good and spicy with-ed, allow the professor to finish his/her slides, make the most of your [exorbitantly expensive] education, and sit your ass down, son.