10 reasons you need to go see Steve Jobs

On Wednesday night at the AvonIvy Film Fest and Brown Motion Pictures teamed up to bless Brunonia with a free screening of Aaron Sorkin’s latest film, Steve Jobs. Here are 10 reasons why you must go see it:

1. Michael Fassbender. Simply his presence in the film is enough of a reason to go. Should I just end the list now? Not only is Michael Fassbender unquestionably and extremely attractive, but he also just happens to be a fantastic actor. Can’t we all just take a minute– and by minute, I mean the two hours that are Steve Jobs— to appreciate him?

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You’ll have to go see the movie if you want to behold those ridiculous sneakers.

2. For the last third of the film, Fassbender wears what might very well be the whitest and most-clunky looking sneakers you have ever seen. They look like moonshoes. It’s awesome. They held my attention for so long that they should be billed in the credits as supporting actors.

 

3. Remember little B.B. from Kill Bill Vol. 2? She’s all grown up now and in her first recognizable role since Kill Bill (seriously, where do the child actors go?). And she’s actually very good as Steve’s semi-estranged teenage daughter, Lisa.

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If you haven’t seen the Kill Bill movies we have some bigger issues to discuss here.

4. The notoriously weird 1984 Apple SuperBowl commercial is actually a major point of discussion in Steve Jobs.

Watch it, please. For your own sake.

5. Though far from a comedy, Steve Jobs contains so much clever and sarcastic banter that I actually got a little jealous that I’ll never be as witty as they are. Sigh. Even when taken out of context, the quotes in this movie are hilarious:

“I’m not a fan of the circus-aesthetic.”

“WHAT DO YOU DO!?”

“Will I have to drop acid?”

“I don’t bleed.”

“I’m tired of being treated like Ringo when I know I was John.”

“We’re not savages. So I’m going to put 1000 songs in your pocket.”

6. Kate Winslet and Seth Rogen absolutely killed it in their supporting roles as Joanna Hoffman, the lead marketing executive at Apple, and Steve Wozniak, the other co-founder of Apple, respectively. Winslet performed one of the best angry-crying scenes I’ve ever seen, all the while maintaining a perfect Polish accent, and Rogen played “Woz” with all of the lovable qualities of a teddy bear. Don’t you want to rustle his curly mane?

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The death stare of the only person with the ability to stand up to Steve Jobs

7.) This film has all the risky, glamorous, focused, cold, and smart sensations as The Social Network  because they share the infamous screenwriter, Alan Sorkin. Though Steve Jobs is fantastic for different reasons, I’m confident that if you liked The Social Network, you’ll love Steve Jobs.

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8.) If you still don’t believe me, believe Rolling Stone, .the A.V. Club, or Rotten Tomatoes.

9.) You may have heard complaints from those who knew Steve Jobs well that the movie is very factually inaccurate, but Steve Jobs never claimed to be a documentary. What’s really important, and what the filmmakers have certainly achieved, is capturing people’s auras. The real Steve Wozniak, who, at one point, was Steve Jobs’ best friend, said he felt like he was really watching Steve Jobs on screen, not an actor, so mission accomplished.

Plus, if you do want to see a Steve Jobs documentary, Steve Jobs: The Man in the Machine, is playing at Avon Cinema until Thursday, October 22nd.

10.) As a self-respecting Brown student, you should feel compelled to see any movie that has the line, “It’s not binary.” What’s not binary? Sexuality? Gender? Good vs. evil? You’ll need to see Steve Jobs to find out (and no, it has nothing to do with binary code).

Images via, via, via, and via.

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