Right in the middle of midterm season is a beautiful oasis of cuteness: Super Heavy Petting. The event is basically just an impromptu petting zoo out in front of the Ratty, but it’s fucking inspiring, especially considering how stressed out we all are. While this campus is comprised of students with extremely varying interests, fuzzy animals are something we can all agree on. An amazing sample of students showed up to the event, so BlogDH talked with them to see cool things they were up to.These are there stories:
Name: Harvey Kalen
Concentration: Undeclared, but likely Sociology
Harvey Kalen ’18 can’t believe it’s almost November. Although he laments that his second year at Brown is already going by so quickly, he’s certainly taken every step possible to ensure his time on campus is meaningful. Kalen’s initiative, “Sharing / No Credits,” or S/NC for short, aims to match upperclassmen with credit-endowed freshmen. In Kalen’s words, “There are so many, even too many, freshmen who got the 40 meal a week plan, and are now realizing they mostly subsist on Chobani.” Kalen’s plans for the pairing program are still in planning, but you can expect to hear a lot more from him and S/NC towards the end of the school year.
Name: Cleo Shiles
Concentration: Astronomy & Physics
No stranger to the cosmos, Cleo Shiles ‘17.5 is hard at work on her thesis on inter-dimensional time travel. Inspired by the Back To The Future franchise as a child, Shiles has devised a flux capacitor of her own that she suspects will have the ability to traverse time. We ran into Shiles at Heavy Petting although she wasn’t there for the animals, but merely waiting outside to sign for her newly ordered Delorean.
Name: Turkey Jones
Concentration: Applied Mathematics
Always a lover of math and computer science, Turkey Jones ’17 is trying to create an algorithm that would be able to predict the winners of each Brown football game by accounting for numerous factors, such as pass-completion rates and ambient temperature. Unfortunately, Turkey can’t count past 14, so the process has been difficult. Good luck, Turkey!
Name: Caleb Jordan
While in the process of reading up on some feminist literature, Caleb Jordan ’16 realized he had an idea for a fresh new word. Thus, Caleb’s claim to fame is coining the word ‘meninism’. The term quickly caught on amongst certain groups, and Caleb is now universally considered a scumbag.
Name: Sarah and Clarissa Fenten
Concentration: Psychology and Human Biology
Sarah and Clarissa Fenten ’18 were always curious about the connection shared by twins such as themselves. They spent their first year at Brown engaged in intense research into the phenomenon of twins, culminating at the end of spring semester. Amazingly, the two actually managed to switch bodies after a sequence of “Freaky Friday”-esque events, though they have yet to muster the empathy and mutual understanding required to switch back.
Name: Goat to Hell
Who’s the most talked-about girl on campus? The obvious answer is Goat to Hell ’16. This bright-eyed philosophy-concentrator is a major suspect in a string of gas station robberies. If you have any information regarding her whereabouts, please contact the Providence Police Department at (401) 272-3121.
Name: Christina Paxson
Concentration: Medical Student
No difficulty remembering this name! Christina Paxson ’19 (no relation) is the current President of the Warren Alpert Medical School Stamp Collecting Society, and I think everyone can agree that she’s doing a fine job. She currently aims to increase stamp collection by 5% each year, though some of her policy decisions have been controversial. Keep going, Christina!
For more students at Heavy Petting, check out our Facebook album. Make sure to stop by the next time; you won’t be let down by the coolest students on campus!
Images via Danielle Perelman ’17.