A definitive ranking of the best Wi-Fi networks on College Hill

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“Show me someone who claims to not want the Wi-Fi password and I’ll show you a liar”

— me five minutes ago

As a senior living off campus and being thrust out of the comfort of the Brown Wi-Fi network, I’ve become increasingly aware of connecting to different networks around College Hill. This perpetual quest for Wi-Fi has illuminated the extent to which people in Providence take their Wi-Fi network naming seriously. In classic Brown fashion, these names really speak for themselves.

Without further ado, I present to you a list of College Hill’s best Wi-Fi network names on College Hill ranked by category:

Most location specific:

348s

Winner: YANSCUISINE

This network name is genius because of its proximity to Yan’s Cuisine and the fact that it is owned by students who have nothing to do with Yan’s Cuisine. This is an April Fools dream all-year-round. Not so secretly wishing I had thought of something like this.

Honorable mentions: Cheers to the Governor, Papa John’s, G Spot (located above G Spot Salon)

 

Most likely to make you feel like you’re being watched:

Winner: FBISurveillanceVan

Definitely no Napster, LimeWire, or MegaVideo here (#tbt).

 

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Best use of popular culture:

Winner: [Borat Voice] my wifi

Looks like we’ve all upgraded from the iPod Mini. Very nice!

Runners Up: BillNyeTheWifiGuy, Adventure timeeee, and Bruce Wayne

Most Brown relevant:

Winner: Brown Insecure

Brown Insecure is perfectly ironic, as there is a sizable chance that this network works better than Brown Secure ever did. Eduroam forever.

 

Most philosophical:

Winner: What is wifi?

It’s always refreshing to hear of a  network name that really gets to the crux of everything, you know?

Runner Up: Not a truck

 

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Most prepared for a Zombie Apocalypse:

Winner: ZombieApocalypseSurvivalOutpost

But, will they have enough bandwidth to stream The Walking Dead?

 

Most consensual:

Winner: NotTonightHoneyImSavingMyself

Cheers to The Shop for always being on point.

 

Images viavia, via, and via.

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