When we were little, Halloween was a time to stuff ourselves with candy and feel absolutely no “ragrets“. We didn’t even have to try that hard with our costumes, since little kids are inherently adorable, except when they’re not and make fun of your unibrow (I was supposed to be Frida Kahlo, you uncultured miniature Spider-Man).
As we grew older, our trick-or-treat bags got smaller, and so did our outfits (in a cloth-to-body ratio). But, if all you really want to do is impress your friends with a punny, socially relevant costume, here are a few concentration-specific costumes to bring out the cool kid in you:
Spooky action at a distance
Wear a shirt with a down arrow, force have a friend wear a shirt of the same color and an up arrow, and stay really, really far away from each other.
Throw on some cat ears and wear a box. Bonus points if you’re wearing this shirt. Oh, and it’s also advisable to stay away from the flask of poison.
Stick some thread on you, and go around baffling everyone. If you want to be really adventurous, go around handing string cheese. Physics majors are welcome to shrink down to the Planck length for a more accurate representation.
Particle of choice
To be a photon, dress in yellow, and add some glitter on yourself. Science has confirmed that this is what a photon looks like. Also, wiggle your arms when you go through doors to mimic a wave.
To be a Higgs Boson, dress up as god and annoy 99% of the scientific community.
Mary (black and white room)
Mary is a beloved figured in philosophy of mind and epistemology. Do her justice by dressing up, and painting your face, in black and white. Also, go absolutely apeshit when presented with a red object.
Wear icky green clothes and wipe out your causal history. Ask people whether they think you have consciousness or not, and get punched in the face by your non-humanities friends for being a pretentious asshole.
Twin you on twin earth
Nothing. There is literally nothing you have to do.
Wear a toga and interrupt conversations with your unparalleled acumen. Also get punched in the face by your non-humanities friends. Also try to stay away from the poisonous substance.
The misunderstood bat
Find a bat costume and cry your little heart out as you go around screaming, “You don’t know me, you don’t know my life!”
Paint your face in traditional zombie makeup, and wipe out your consciousness while somehow still being able to walk around moaning, “Braiiiiiiiiins [in a vat]”.
I would go for The Persistence of Memory. Wear a necklace with a broken clock, and stick a bunch of dead flies or ants all over your body. Note: people may confuse you with Flavor Flav after a rough night.
Gory Frida Kahlo
While Frida was a flawless woman, and most people decide to replicate her traditional look, it’s important to pay homage to her darker side, in case you feel like being a wounded deer or a little girl with a skull on her head this Halloween.
Wear a urinal, though realistically, just opt for a toilet seat to put on your head, glue raw steaks on your body, and strut some killer Alexander McQueen super heels.
Le Demoiselles d’Avignon
Deconstruct your physical form, get naked, and pop a (sultry) squat.
Just do it, just fucking cut your ear off.
Go around dancing with a hula-hoop, and cry because dancing is fun but For loops are hard.
A happy CS first-timer
Take regular showers, eat at appropriate hours, and go around shouting, “Hello, World!” at every passing person.
Fire Fox/Ice Weasel
It seems that the Internet is way ahead of me on this one.
Yeah, I’ve got nothing.
Buy some discounted pool noodles and stick them on your limbs because you’ve lost control of your life. (Hey, at least you enable fast communication among neurons!)
Go around looking droopy because people don’t acknowledge you, and offer free hugs since glial cells need love, too. Mad-eye passing neurons ‘cause they think they’re the shit.
Sexy AND mighty mitochondria
Not only are you the powerhouse of the cell, but you do so all while rocking some killer fishnet tights and sexy black stilettos.
Zombie Jane Austen
Self explanatory. But, here’s a little inspiration!
Shave your head, find a whale costume, and get into cool ambience music. Adjust this costume to be Moby’s Dick, if you’d like, though I would take this suggestion with a grain of salt…
I CANNOT be the only one who always heard the book pronounced this way. Anyway, dress up like a pretty bird and carry around a bottle of Jose Cuervo. If you see Atticus, tell him we are all v disappointed in him.
Edgar Allen Pooh
Find yourself a nice Winnie the Pooh costume, perch a toy raven on your shoulder, and complain about a loud beating heart… you SWEAR it’s right under the floorboards.
Phantom load or vampire power
What’s scarier than wasted energy? Throw a bed sheet on yourself and/or stick some fangs in your teeth. Carry around spare iPhone and Mac chargers, and educate others on the importance of unplugging unused electronics. Educate while you impress!
Wear a shirt that says, “If global warming is real, why is it so cold?”
Lather yourself in your cooking oil of choice, and stick some dead coral on your body to represent the gradual death of beautiful ecosystems. See? Scary…
Sexy Al Gore[y]
Ok, ok, the sexy part is implicit. Just buy a power suit and carry around a polar bear stuffed animal. Pick up all the lads and ladies with that enviable smize and bulging… passion for climate activism!