Oh My God I’m Old: Bucket list suggestions for elderly students

For the seniors who are (way too) rapidly approaching graduation, reality occasionally hits and crisis undoubtedly ensues. Have I done enough here at Brown???  I thought I was supposed to be smart by now. Where even is Orwig? I think I forgot to change the world. Oh my god have I missed out on ~*the #socollege experience*~?

And by “spring” and “daffodils” we mean “your last semester” and “graduation.”

But all of this panic can be used in a positive way! Most seniors (and college students in general) know that panic is a great source of energy! So let’s shovel some panic into the motivation-fire and get this engine going so we can chug through this bucket list. We at Blog have already created the ultimate Senior bucket list, but it’s now time to take each challenge to the next level.

(*Note: being a senior is not a necessary part of accomplishing these things. You just have to have that ~senior mindset~.)

This is you shoveling panic.

The Classic

The Ratty challenge: For you youngins, this is when you sit in the Ratty from opening until closing (7:30 a.m.- 7:30 p.m.). It’s like a marathon, but with less high-fiving.

Wanna spice it up? Mimosas with breakfast, boxed wine with lunch, Natty with dinner. If you’re not 21, watch your old-ass friend do it instead and/or BYOO’Douls.

Extra Difficulty: do this with a group and only bring one computer and/or phone charger. Let the “Lord of the Flies” sh!t ensue. Plus, you get to find out who your real friends are!

It’s almost 4 p.m.! You can do it! The chicken parm is nearly ready!


The “Please Don’t Do This When You’re Older”

Participate in the Naked Donut Run: You know how some other Ivy League schools have secret societies? I feel like this is ours. But instead of wearing masks to hide identities, we do the exact opposite (#typicalBrown). How many times in your life will you be able to run around naked in a semi-public place of intense studying whilst waving around carbs? Probably not many (if this is not true, please let me know where I can send my resume). I don’t know how to get in on this timeless ritual (p sure the cave people started this), but I WILL find out. Shameless plug: If you’re an NDR “recruiter” hmu I’ve been practicing.

Bonus points: Instead of munchkins/donut holes, carry around a few of those dozen donut boxes filled with a variety of full-sized donuts (sprinkles and pink frosting EVERYWHERE) and bask in the envious stares of your peers.

MORE Bonus points: Instead of donuts, bring chicken fingers. Students love chicken fingers. If you’ve never thought about receiving a chicken finger from a naked person in your time of need, you’re lying.

The “People Actually Do This????”

Shower in JWW, the CIT, and/or Barus & Holley: “Who even uses these showers?” you wonder as you wander into the bathroom because you needed to escape class for a few minutes. Don’t you want to be able to answer this question? Don’t you want to BE the answer to this question??? Your body may graduate from Brown, but your hair can always remain in the drains of its academic buildings.

Bonus points: You take your fateful shower after an all-nighter spent in one of these buildings.

So get out there and start accomplishing questionable memorable things!

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