At some point or another, we all rely on a beautiful little app called Uber to get around. It keeps us warm in the cold, safe in the dark, and ridin’ in style (most of the time). Uber drivers do a lot more than just take us from place to place, however. They often share their stories, give us much-needed advice on life and love, and add a little excitement to our otherwise mundane lives.
This past Halloweekend, my friend and I were bemoaning a certain boy’s failure to notice our presence, as one does in late-night Uber rides, and we were convinced all hope was lost. And yet, after a few minutes of despair, our driver turned around to us and said, “He’s not worth it. You guys are too young to be worried about things like that.” My friend and I turned to each other and realized how spot-on his words were. We then proceeded to throw the thought of this guy out the window and lived our lives like the free youths we were supposed to be.
After this enlightening experience, I decided to turn to my fellow members of BlogDH, and see if they had any Uber stories of their own to share. Here’s what they said:
“I had an Uber driver try to convince me that Andrew Jackson wasn’t the seventh president of the United States.” — Anthony DeRita
“My Uber driver this weekend overheard us talking about guys and was like, ‘Height isn’t that important…it’s all about their heart’ and then she [said,] ‘and more importantly, you can’t tell when they are lying down’ and she was like 45. She rocked.” — Allison Gordon
“My Uber driver this weekend was speeding though the streets in order to rack up the most rides to win the $400 prize Uber was offering on Halloween night. He had spent the morning in Boston from 7-4 and was going to take the night off but then he heard about the prize! He won last year, so he wanted to win again.” — Danielle Perelman
“Vaguely recall getting picked up at piano bar by an Uber driver in a van who rolled down his window and said ‘I’ve got caaandy’” — Edith Young
Seems legit, right?
“One time an Uber driver picked me up from the train station, and when she opened the trunk for me to put my bags in, there was a bloody knife and Jason mask. She seemed as shocked as I was and said it was her son’s. I took my chances and let her take me home.” — Sienna Vann
“I had an Uber driver offer me the aux cord, and then she liked the song I was playing so much…that she whipped out her phone and took a picture of my screen so she could ‘bump it later’” — Katie Duckworth
“One time I took an Uber downtown and at one light we wanted to go left but it said no left turn, so he just got into the leftmost lane[…it] was a red light and he turned to me and said ‘I think red lights are just suggestions’ and then he fucking ran the red light and turned left and we almost got t-boned by an oncoming truck.” — Kelly Carey-Ewend
Matt Klimerman (BlogDH alum!) gave us live updates from the car itself: “I am currently in an Uber and the driver is a portly gentleman dressed as Santa. He has white hair and a white beard. There are bells in the cup holders and a Santa hat on the dashboard.” A few seconds later: “Holy shit he just said ‘On Prancer’ as he accelerated.”