Anti-Wish List: A do not want list of gifts

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With finals finally over, a lot of us have made it back home for the holidays to be with friends, family, and our own, personal shower (you mean I don’t have to wear flip flops in it?). And whether you like it or not, tis the season for the anxiety inducing question: what do you want? Perhaps you’re the type who doesn’t care for a gift or the type to choose something from the Blog’s holiday gift list, or the type who prefers the homemade route. Or, maybe you just don’t know. Instead of going the traditional route of compiling a holiday gift list, the Blog has compiled a do not want list.

A Fitness Tracker

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Do I want to be reminded of how rarely I go for a run? Do I really want something on my wrist to tell me exactly how many calories worth of Andrews pizza I have consumed? I already know the answer: an amount that would worry even an eleven year old.

Muffins

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Just disappointing.

There is no way I will not be disappointed after religiously eating Blue Room muffins. Whatever muffin you get me will not be the right size (big), the right texture (crumbly, but with a strong sense of structural integrity), and the right taste (like a warm hug after studying in the frigid Blue Room all day). In fact, it would be akin to committing treason to eat whatever inferior muffin you have brought me.

A School Sweater from Another School 

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What even is this nonsense?

I don’t understand why this would be a viable option as a gift. Brown gear is obviously the best because it’s dual purpose. Not only does it demonstrate your undying love for your school, but also your uncontrollable enthusiasm for the dopest color ever, Brown. I don’t want to be wearing your silly maroon or navy or green, so no thank you, I will politely be declining your gift.

Jokes aside, though, gifts don’t really matter. Not having to wait in lines for food or even having to go outside, is enough of a gift for me.

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