- Josiah Carberry
The OG of Brown alums that aren’t quite real. This professor of psychoceramics (the study of cracked pots) has been around since 1929 and in the years since he has been featured in the New York Times, been awarded an Ig Noble Prize (basically the Nobel prize but fake) and is the namesake of Jo’s, the most beloved late-night eatery on campus. He even has his own page on RateMyProfessors.com.
2. Serena van der Woodsen from Gossip Girl
The Gossip Girl protagonist gets into Brown, but we find out in Season Three that she defers to stay in New York. Worst choice ever.
3. Brian Griffin, Family GUY
Turns out everyone’s favorite cynical, liberal cartoon dog went to Brown too. Too bad he dropped out to join the Peace Corps. An activist who fought (intermittently) for various causes, including marriage equality and the legalization of marijuana, Brian would have fit in well on College Hill today.
3. Summer Roberts, the OC
No one expected that this materialistic, shallow high schooler would go to Brown, yet of course upon arrival, she becomes a radical environmental activist. SO Brown. But wait, she tries to free lab rabbits from the science lab and gets suspended for a year. Why are fictional Brown students so troubled?
4. Dr. Elliot Reid, Scrubs
This doctor from Scrubs goes to Brown too and attends a fictional sorority ΩΒΓ (it spells out the first three letters of OB-GYN). But the real question: was she PLME??
5. Julianne Potter, My Best Friend’s Wedding
While at Brown, Julianne made a deal with her friend Michael O’Neal that they would marry each other if they hadn’t found anyone by the time they turned 28. At 27, Julianne learns that her friend will marry a 20-year old University of Chicago student. But we know that real Brown students would never break a marriage pact in favor of someone from the UChicago.
Candace Bushnell, author of Sex and the City, reveals in her new book, Summer and the City: A Carrie Diaries Novel, that everyone’s favorite fashion-forward New Yorker went to Brown. We’re guessing she did Lit Arts, lived in 257 Thayer, and ate at Den Den every weekend.
7. Emma Watson… oh wait, she’s real
Oh wait, that actually happened. Brown and Hermoine Granger––name a more iconic duo?
8. Bridget Vreeland, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
Here is Blake Lively again, playing a character who also goes to Brown. Suspicious? Is she trying to tell us something, like how she wants to be a Brunonian IRL? Ms. Lively has yet to respond for a comment.