Most Brown students come into college with firm ideas about what they don’t want to study, but a very vague notion of what they do want to study. The open curriculum certainly doesn’t help them make up their mind. But if you’re one of those lost souls, struggling to declare a concentration, look no further: below are a few simple, effortless guidelines by which you can choose your concentration:
Your major: Econ
You clearly enjoy partaking in extortion. But maybe — just maybe — you’d like to be on the exacting end of an extortion rather than the receiving end. And how better to extort than as the CEO of a Fortune 500 company? Remember, every billionaire started as a lowly Econ major — and so can you! Just remember that no amount of money is worth selling your soul to the corporate world.
Your major: Biology
You love all things green and organic. You’re probably vegan because you care so much about Providence’s flora and fauna. You also love telling people around you how much you love animals. Which is a lot. A whole lot.
Your major: Criminal Justice
Well, more specifically Public Policy focused on Criminal Justice. Constantly stuck reading law textbooks, you’re mysterious, elusive and sought out by many — just like the always-in-demand but always-closed Fro-Yo World. Not many people know that behind that innocent façade lives a criminal mastermind. You may look and taste sweet, but rumor has it you’re really just a front for the drug cartel. What’s in those sprinkles?
Your major: Computer Science
You’re basic AF and what people turn to when they don’t really know what they want. You’re practical and helpful, but also disappointingly unoriginal. You’ll probably end up making a lot of money, but end up burning the midnight oil and working far longer than your friends.
Your major: Visual arts
One word: aesthetic. It’s all about the aesthetic. It doesn’t matter if it’s super expensive and fuzzy and blindingly pink, you live for it. Your friends are quick to compliment you on your keen eye for fashion and all things related.
Your major: Independent concentration
You’re an independent thinker — you love to mash up things from different places and cultures even though they don’t really make much sense together. No one really knows what you’re doing or if your major is actually real, and sometimes, to be honest — neither do you. You probably need to engage in illegal agricultural activities to write your papers, and by the time they’re done they won’t make sense to anyone but you.