Tell Us Your Summer Internship and We’ll Tell You what Office Character You Are

Goldman Sachs/Anything financial

Ryan Howard

This person is a snek, the snekiest snek that ever did snek. Seriously though, they are driven and hardworking and maybe a little morally challenged, but nothing will stand in their way to financial domination and a cushy job at Goldman Sachs.

Art Museum

Pam Greely

The three words you could use to describe them are kind, and passionate, and definitely not a snake (ok maybe not three words). They care about the finer things in life, such as art, and definitely have the patience for repetitive and dull tasks like finding a child who has gotten lost for the third time in ten minutes. You are secretly jealous of their ability to find fulfillment in anything after spring semester.

Family Business

Dwight Schrute

Some call them “privileged,” but they prefer “family-oriented.” While whatever they’re doing may range from rustic (family farm) to highly suspect (definitely mafia), they commit to it fully, because family comes first to them. They’ll often talk about fun memories they had working for their family when they were younger (and maybe omit some key details about concrete boots).

Hollywood

Kelly Kapoor

The most dramatique person you’ve ever met, this total diva is  going to enjoy their time in sunny Los Angeles with the stars while you sob gently to yourself at your poor luck. You’re not sure how they managed it, but with a mixture of swagger and connections, they got an internship in Hollywood. Everything they do, they do with style

Summer Camp Counselor

Jim Halpert

Both fun-loving and caring, this person is gonna chill out and take care of a bunch of kids and engage in shenanigans all summer. Ever the reluctantly-nurturing soul, they’ve definitely carried you back to your dorm from Jo’s at 2 a.m. after one too many Screwdrivers. This summer, they’ll have the full experience — from a summer romance to pulling elaborate pranks on other cabins — and have a blast the entire time. They’ll come back with amazing stories of all the stuff they did, but they’re so genuine that you won’t feel bitter that your internship made you cry on a regular basis.

Menial unpaid internship

Andy Bernard

This person thought that going to an Ivy League school would automatically help them get a great internship; they were wrong. They’re going to spend their summer in an office that is either too hot or too cold around coworkers who will ask them about their “Ivy League Education.” They often brag about going to Brown around you, and you’re definitely sick of their shit.

No internship, no plans

Stanley Hudson

This person needs their summer to recover from the trauma that is the school year. You might call them apathetic, but they just believe in self-care. They might pick up the odd summer job, but nothing too high commitment, because they’re already broken inside.

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1 Comment

  1. lol! this article is hilarious because they are all true.

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