A Guide to First Year Housing

As Told by a First Year Who Probably Knows Way Less About This Than You Do

It’s almost three weeks into the school year, and if you’re a newbie like me, you’re probably still awkwardly introducing yourself to other first years in this specific order: name, hometown, dorm. In fact, you’re also probably awkwardly nodding when someone mentions a dorm on the other side of campus and saying, “Oh whoa, I’m in [specific dorm on the other side of campus from you], all the way over there!” And if you’re really like me, you haven’t fully grasped the differences between all the first-year dorms yet, but feel like it’s too late in the game to ask someone. That’s why I’ve created this helpful guide with literally everything you will ever need to know about Brown’s freshman dorms.*

ANDREWS

The proverbial hotel on campus, Andrews is high-class and the people who live there know it. Their dining hall is the Brown equivalent of  5-star gourmet food, with daily specialty meals and an hour long wait time to go with it. The Andrews one-percenters look down both figuratively and literally on the commoners from the other dorms, while they’re comfy and well-fed in their fire-pit-filled perch overlooking all of Pembroke.

EM-WOOL

That other dorm in Pembroke with a dining hall in the basement. I arrived at the V-Dub at 7:38 PM last week and the food had long been packed away, so I have yet to try their cuisine, but they get points for being punctual at closing time, I guess. EmWool may not have the nicest rooms, or the best food, or the closest proximity to campus, but they do have semi-private bathrooms, and that just about makes up for everything.

KEENEY

The place to be! The true center of freshman life, home to dorm parties at 10, quad parties at 12, and wandering the halls aimlessly at 2. The main differences between Archibald-Bronson, Everett-Poland, and Jameson-Mead are the carpet colors. That’s it. Keeney’s dorms are the most social, and some rooms are special “dingles” (doubles with a giant wall in the middle, effectively making two singles), but it’s ranked pretty low if we’re talking bathrooms or getting to bed at a reasonable time.

MILLER & METCALF

I’m grouping these two together because I’m not entirely sure they’re different from one another. Flanking Hotel Andrews like two younger cousins looking to their older, more worldly leader, what they lack in name prestige they make up for with the cool columns outside their entrances. The dorms themselves also seem pretty chill. Idk.

MO-CHAMP

I got lost navigating the back lots behind Mo-Champ. I’m still not entirely sure where I was or what I was looking at, but I do remember that the exterior certainly had a classic “solidly average building” look to it that never goes out of style! I’m also told the interior has some fabulous concrete block decor that really livens up the place.

NEW PEMBROKE 3 & 4

I literally learned that these dorms were for first years two days ago. That’s about it as far as my expertise goes — no fun facts or anecdotes here. I assume they’re nice-ish, since the name clearly says they’re new. But are they really new? They don’t look like it…

WAYLAND

I forget sometimes that there’s more to Wayland than just the acapella arch. What that “more” specifically is, I couldn’t say, but I know it’s there! While Waylanders don’t have food in their basement necessarily, they have the next closest thing– the Ratty just across the quad. Whether or not it is a blessing or a curse that the Ratty being is so close is up to you.

 

*Disclaimer: Author has actually only seen the inside of Keeney’s three dorms. Author has only ever visited Pembroke to get food. Author knows very little about dorms in which she doesn’t live.

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