Procrastination Nation: A Day In The Life
We’re students. Procrastinating is in our blood. People who can go and crank out all of their reading responses or problem sets or papers in one sitting both impress and, quite frankly, terrify me. But most of us don’t have the luxury of time management, so we’re left with growing piles of work we either choose to ignore, or parse out so slowly that it’s pretty much as effective as ignoring them. While no two procrastinators are alike, everyone tends to use similar tactics to avoid real life responsibilities: naps, Netflix, food and friends. In fact, here is a rough timeline of an average dawdler’s day:
1:00 pm – Meet up with friends after a long half-day of classes and pick up a little mid-afternoon second lunch.
1:40 pm – Saunter back to your dorm, stop for every single person you recognize, and every free food-stand on the Main Green.
1:50 pm – Power nap!
2:30 pm – Get your bearings straight when you finally wake up after hitting snooze three times.
2:40 pm – Carefully arrange your computer, phone, every single notebook, textbook, and any snack you might possibly need on your desk for your long afternoon of work ahead.
2:50 pm – Carefully plan out the upcoming week’s schedule on Google calendar.
3:20 pm– Heat up an afternoon ramen/mac-and-cheese/popcorn pick-me-up. You’ve earned it after all your hard work!
3:25 pm – Netflix break.
4:00 pm – Wander into the hall to see what your friends are doing. Compare workloads.
4:20 pm – Rearrange your desk and color-code your Google calendar. Just a little something called multitasking!
4:30 pm – Start your homework.
5:00 pm – Power nap, part 2. You’ve actually earned it this time!
5:30 pm – Mindlessly scrolling through Twitter/Instagram/Facebook/BlogDailyHerald.
5:45 pm – Stop lying to yourself about being productive. You know you’re not even trying at this point.
5:47 pm – Convince yourself you’re being productive in your own special way. Self-love goes a long way.
5:50 pm – Mindless scrolling, part 2.
6:00 pm – Gossip session disguised as a gym workout.
7:00 pm – Dinner with friends, during which you will compare workloads again (why do the amounts of work sound eerily similar to the way they did at 4:00?)
8:00 pm – Club meeting.
9:00 pm – Do homework, part 2 — but this time, while feeling powerful thinking about how much you’ve accomplished.
9:40 pm – Go dorm-hopping.
11:00 pm – Jo’s snack break.
11:40 pm – Go party-hopping.
12:30 am – “Get ready” for bed.
1:10 am – Actually get into bed.
1:15 am – Have a ~slight~ existential crisis thinking about how little you actually did today.
1:20 am – Reassure and remind yourself that it’s perfectly normal and healthy to not be doing your work at all hours of the day, and college is hard so you deserve some breaks and some fun!
… But also you should probably finish your work tomorrow.