In case you somehow are still unaware of your impending doom, we’re here to remind you that IT’S MIDTERM SEASON AGAIN! WOO-HOO! Here’s a playlist, with some tweaks to the wonderful lyrics that we know and love, which can help you make sense of things got this bad…
Shopping Period: It’s early in the semester, and you have no cares in the world. All that is on your mind is making sure your friends know how much dough you earned while interning at this weird tech company. Your naïvete is adorable.
September (Earth, Wind, and Fire):
♪Do you remember the 21st night of September?
Love was changing the minds of pretenders
While chasing the clouds away
Our hearts were ringing
In the key that our souls were singing
As we danced in the night
Remember how the stars stole the night away
Hey hey hey
Ba de ya, say do you remember
Ba de ya, dancing in September
Ba de ya, never was a cloudy day (that’s a blatant lie, but ok)♪
Midterms on the Horizon: You’re now a few failed assignments into the semester. You slept through the deadline to change your grade option, so you open Canvas, dig around for the syllabus you didn’t even bother to pick up on the first day and try to find a way to salvage your academic career.
*Very Audible Gasp*
“OH, HOLY SHIT THERE’S A MIDTERM NEXT WEEK! HOW THE HELL DID I GET HERE ALREADY.”
Wake Me Up When September Ends (Greenday)
♪Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
[WHY DID YOU HAVE TO] wake me up when September ends
Oh all the Midterms I need to pass
Summer has gone so fast
[PLEASE DON’T ] wake me up when September ends
Here comes the grind again
Falling from my home [SciLi/CIT]
Drenched in my pain again
Becoming who we are
As my memory fails
But never forgets what I lost
Don’t Wake me up when September ends♪
Midterm Day: You pulled an all-nighter at the SciLi, even though you swore you’d never hit rock-bottom again. You’ve had only a few too many anxiety attacks all day long, and now you’re ruing the day you ever decided to take that “easy little” fifth course, for a grade.
Yesterday (The Beatles)
Yesterday, all my troubles [midterms] seemed so far away
Now it looks as though they’re here to stay
Oh, I believe in yesterday
Suddenly, I’m not half the genius I used to be
There’s a [teacher’s] shadow hanging over me.
Oh, yesterday came suddenly
Midterm #10: You’re dying on the inside. (I mean, there is a ray of hope somewhere in there, but who knows how long that’ll remain?). At this point, taking midterms and being miserable is a way of life. You wonder how other humans live. You turn to search for another sign of life in the SciLi, but all you see is a sea of suffering.
Come as you are (Nirvana):
(This needs no edits. Kudos, Kurt Cobain, Kudos.)
♪Come as you are, as you were
As I want you to be
As a friend, as a friend
As a known enemy♪
Assignment Graded: Midterm 1: You thought you could have some time to recuperate from the blow you took last night? THINK AGAIN, these professors definitely don’t have a family to go back home to. Or at least the TAs don’t — they took solace in every point willfully deducted from the epic shitshow that was your paper. You wake up, open Gmail, Open canvas — and oh, look! You have a graded assignment. You decide to open it like the innocent child you are, and then:
Paint it Black (The Rolling Stones)
♪I look inside myself and see my heart is black
I see my red door I must have it painted black
Maybe then I’ll fade away and not have to face the facts
It’s not easy facin’ up, when your whole world is black ♪
I guess its true, you can’t always get what you want.
Multiple Test Results Later: At this point, nothing can hurt you. It doesn’t matter that you scored the lowest in class (again), it doesn’t matter that you missed an A by .03 points (not that I’m speaking from personal experience or anything), it doesn’t matter that your Asian parents are clearly about to either disown you or move to Providence to keep an eye on your activities — you have been dead inside for a long time now. Who needs an education, anyway? You’re not a follows-orders-kind-of-person. You wholeheartedly believe in disorder, chaos, and entropy (even if you don’t quite get what the last one means and definitely have to take Chem 330 again.)
Another Brick in the Wall (Pink Floyd)
♪We don’t need no education
We don’t need no thought control
No dark sarcasm in the classroom
Teachers leave them kids alone
Hey! Teachers! Leave them kids alone
All in all it’s just another brick in the wall
All in all you’re just another brick in the wall♪
[Heartening Message of Encouragement Here: Error 404: Could not be found]