New Liqueur Promises to Outdo even Old Four Loko

Remember that first story you heard about your friend trying Four Loko? He/she bounced off the walls at a party for a few hours and then woke up the next Tuesday two towns over with no pants on, right? Remember when the government took away all the good Four Loko (the caffeinated kind) before you could get at it and replaced it with just some gross overly-sugared malted drink? You might now get to have your revenge.

Agwa.

Honestly, Agwa sounds like just about the most toxic liquid on the planet. According to its web site, it’s a liqueur distilled from the coca leaf with natural energy sources like guarana and ginseng. Now, if you know a little about illicit drug trafficking, you know that this same coca leaf is used to make COCAINE. I don’t know how else to explain this to you: AGWA IS EVERYTHING POWERTHIRST WISHES IT WERE. According to Agwa’s web site, Rudyard Kipling said coca alcohol was made “from the clippings and shavings of angel wings.”

Drink Agwa and you will look and feel like this.

Internetwines.com says Agwa has a “bittersweet peppery taste with an unusual effect.” I honestly don’t know what that means, but it glows green like absinthe and could probably power a Space Shuttle, so I’m excited to hear the first story of crazy escapades ensuing from a few shots of Agwa. At only $30 a handle, it costs as much as 3.5 liters of Karkov. It’s recommended that you drink Agwa with a lime. And a defibrillator. Good luck.

Note: I swear I have not touched Agwa. I cannot comment as to whether or not it’ll turn your urine that same hue of green.

Images via & via.


Our last Four Loko post for a while….we promise

Is there nothing sacred left in life?  Phusion Projects announced yesterday that it would be removing caffeine, guarana, and taurine from all of its beverages, including–you guessed it–Four Loko.  Say goodbye to the wide-eyed-blackout-inducer we have come to know and love (although, yes, we realize that the we at the BlogDH must seem to like talking about it a little bit more than the average college students).

Oh well.  There’s always Red Bull.  Somehow it’s just not the same (there’s no alcohol in it…).


Four Loko updates

1. Washington State bans the crazy beverage. I guess all of you Seattle natives will have to stick to the old cup o’ Jo (Seattle’s Best perhaps?) over winter break.

2. Loko maker to halt shipments to NY State. Prediction: Brown students will care about legislation being passed in other states once it begins to infringe on our summer internship drinking habits.

3. Sen. John Tassoni plans to ban “blackout in a can” across all of RI. Those URI students just had to ruin the fun for all of us.

however, let us not forget…

4. Four Loko is still legal here in Connecticut’s Foreskin.  So drink up and get Loko!


Decision Four Loko

Alcohol + Caffeine, Not in Michigan's House // CBS News

Elections have passed, so now we can actually focus on issues of substance. Enter the Four Loko debate. The colorful 23.5 oz can has made several notable appearances on the blog recently, as a handful of American colleges (including URI) have banned the alcohol-caffeine-sugar beverage from their campuses. Nervous college students have been anxiously anticipating what institution would ban Four Loko next. Last Thursday, however, somebody threw a curveball. Michigan (yes, the entire state) decided to put an end to anything and everything Loko. The state’s liquor control commission placed an immediate ban on Four Loko and other alcohol-infused energy drinks, such as Joose and Torque. If the orders of banning magnitude continue to multiply at this rate, it’s only a matter of time before the FDA finally gets involved and reaches an ultimate verdict. For now, all you Loko heads better stock up because forecast says Loko’s shaping up to join Sprite Remix in beverage heaven.


URI bans Four Loko

According to the Associated Press, The University of Rhode Island has become the latest college campus to ban Four Loko.  Lets hope that this movement to ban the drink stays in South Kingstown and doesn’t spread its way up College Hill.

We here at BlogDH know it may seem like we are obsessed with Four Loko, but, c’mon- who on this campus isn’t?


Loko 4 Ethanol

From Fueling Blackouts to Fueling Cars // GOOD.is

It’s a new year and the most notorious beverage of 2010 has refused to join its peers in beverage heaven. While reformulated Four Loko shipments, sans caffeine, are in the process of returning to stores, cases of the now-outlawed caffeinated version are being recycled. According to Time, wholesalers have decided to send their excess stock to Virginia-based MXI Environmental Services, a facility which is capable of distilling Four Loko (and similar alcoholic energy drinks) in order to extract ethanol. The plant then sells the ethanol for use in gasoline and recycles the aluminum cans, shipping containers and even Loko’s water content for use elsewhere. So, in the conclusion of the Four Loko story, we see how individuals can find a way to make good of an atrocity–like when SNL parodied Sarah Palin and actually got some laughs. Luckily for those looking to get loco, several stores have opted to keep selling original Four Loko under the FDA’s nose for prices as high as $10 per can. With so many other methods of irresponsible consumption available to the college student, how long will Four stay afloat?