Less popular piñata prizes

carrots
toothpaste
tacks
novels
pants
batteries
custard
snakes
paint
hair
cutlery
eggs
sawdust
a beehive
chess pieces
fine china
manure
babies
nitroglycerine
Good & Plenties

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The Brown Barrel is an alliance of Brown’s written and performance comedy groups. This column runs twice a week. The first is short written humor, the second foretells upcoming comedy events.

Internal Memo from the Month of March Branding Department

Listen up, idiots. We’re losing out and we all know why.  People think they’ve got us figured out with this “In like a lion, out like a lamb” bullshit—as if we’re just a bridge between our two biggest competitors. Translation: we’re getting our asses HANDED to us by a month that doesn’t even know how many days it has.

So I’m throwing some cutting-edge ideas right at your face. SLICE (they’re making that sound because they’re sharp)! Now it’s time for you bastards to grab it, run with it, dodge three tacklers and dive into the end zone. BAM— I’m going to Disneyworld! Continue Reading