The U.S. Department of Education recently released a list of the top 25 freshmen retention rates of private colleges and universities. The difference between consecutive rankings here comes down to a fraction of a percent—Brown has an average retention rate of 97.5 percent, coming in at an unlucky a respectable thirteenth place. According to a Yahoo! news report, this officially renders Brown the school with the thirteenth happiest freshmen. The equivalency being presumed between retention and happiness can be easily deconstructed and dismissed, but it’s easier just to point out how irrelevant Yahoo! is.
Unfortunately, they aren’t the only ones that mark these statistics as a measure of our happiness—HuffPo and CBS News, among others, do the same. We always find it disconcerting when studies attempt to calculate the amount of happiness someone has (or a group people have), but in this case it is particularly discomforting as Princeton is ranked happiest. Sorry, but if this letter situation is happening at your school, you can’t win the happy-go-lucky award. Also, Princeton sorta just sounds sad. (Whoever said orange was the new black was seriously disturbed.)
We commend these sites for trying to gauge our happiness, but laugh at their shortcomings. [Read more →]
For those of you who haven’t heard about Lulu, it’s an app that lets girls rate guys. It’s advertised as ”the first database of men, built by women, for women.” The app is only accessible to girls with Facebook accounts and claims to be “as private as you want it to be.” The app also has a counterpart for males, allowing them to see the general feedback they have received, in addition to receiving”tips and insights about the mysterious world of women.”
Let’s run down our opinions on it, shall we?
Charlotte:
According to Cosmopolitan, Lulu is is the lovechild of Sex and the City and Facebook. I am not so sure. Why? Because Sex and the City rocks and this app kind of sucks. Upon initially hearing about Lulu, on a scale of one-to-puke, I wanted run to the toilet and clutch my stomach for dear life. After cruising for a solid three hours twenty minutes, I realized, however, that this app has major trolling potential. I am going to share exactly how this app grinds my gears, but also why it’s mildly hilarious.
Prepare yourselves because I’m about to go all Upton Sinclair in the The Jungle‘s meatpacking district.
99 Problems and they’re all about Lulu– There are definitely some serious problems with Lulu. For example, the app is painfully hetereonormative (…can I graduate now?). Ignoring Lulu’s other problems, simply look at the fact that it only allows girls to access the app to only rate guys. A massive red flag should be going up right about now. We live in world where plenty of people don’t adhere the Lulu norm, but ladies, its all okay in the end because “Lulu gives [you] the power to be Taylor Swift,” according to its blog: “Enough said.”
Brown placed sixth on USA Today College’s list of “25 healthiest colleges in the country.” The article recognized our “accessible sexual health resources, positive reviews of the health centers, condom availability, health awareness programs for students, STI testing on campus,” and our number-two spot on Trojan’s 2012 sexual health report card.
But here’s the kicker: It’s kind of funny that in explaining why we placed sixth, USA Today College cited our—wait for it—crepe bar. The fact that the crepe bar is mentioned as a “healthy option” may confuse almost every student who dabbles in Sunday brunch. Public Health concentrators are facepalming everywhere. Sure, it may be the reason we go to the Ratty on a Sunday, but we’re not checking out the crepe bar—chock-full of chocolate sauce, whipped cream, and strawberry sauce (yes, sauce, not fruit)—to stay fit. That’s what Blue Room salads are for.
The article also showed some love for the “Roots and Shoots” line at the Ratty, for its vegetarian, vegan, and locally grown options. For those of us who are vegetarian or vegan at Brown, Roots and Shoots is the Ratty. Seriously though—I dare you to find a vegan student on campus who doesn’t eat the brown rice pilaf at least three times a week. Or you can just take my word for it and focus on your finals.
Avoid dark clothing and bring a lint brush because these pups are back and ready to snuggle! Come to the Main Green today, April 30 from 11:30 a.m. to 1 p.m. for Heavy Petting(Ed.-!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) with Brown faculty members and their pups. Prepare yourselves for some good ol’ fluffy fun. If you can’t make it, enjoy this corgi on stilts. We’ll see you there!
Looking for something fun to do on the Spring Week hump day? Check out the Class Coordinating Board’s Mr. and Ms. Brown Pageant! The event will be held on Wednesday, April 17 at 7 p.m. in Sayles Hall.
The twelve dazzling contestants are all members of the senior class and will go head-to-head to compete for the “Mr. and Mrs. Brown” titles. Trust us: these guys mean business! After all, they’ve already fought off nearly 100 other nominees to get to the Sayles stage. The nominees have a wide array of talents—expect some dancing, singing, poetry-reading, and a large amount of senior shenanigans.
If you don’t go for the talent, go for the judges. The pageant will be judged by campus favorites Barrett Hazeltine, Fiery Cushman, and Barbara Tannenbaum, alongside Senior Class Presidents Brandon Tomasso ’13 and Kelsey Tripp ’13, and Cara Lemire ’13, who currently holds the title of Miss Eastern Massachusetts. Audience votes will also be factored into judging so bring your friends to support some talented and courageous Brown students! In all seriousness, this will be absolutely hilarious. Don’t miss it.
The Ivy Film Festival presents an advanced screening of The Kings of Summer tonight at 8 p.m. This “unforgettable coming-of-age comedy” is a 2013 Sundance Selection, and made a ton of Top-Ten-Must-See Sundance film lists. The film’s official release date is May 31, 2013. It’s projected to be a huge summer hit.
The Kings of Summer is a comedic tale of three teenage boys who try to make a home for themselves in the woods, Jean Craighead George-style. The film features comedy stars Nick Offerman from Parks and Recreation, Alison Brie from Community, and Megan Mullalley from Will and Grace and the equally as important “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter” commercials. Some of you may also remember Moises Arias, the wily Rico from Hannah Montana, and if you don’t, here’s a video of him doing the “Stanky Leg.” He plays one of the boys in this film, alongside Gabriel Basso and Nick Robinson.
For those of you who saw The Way, Way Back earlier this week (or heard every person in attendance raving afterwards), you should trust the IFF’s judgment when they say that this movie is going to kill it. Doors open at 7:45 p.m. See ya there!
In 2012, Rhode Island passed a law to decriminalize the possession of small amounts of marijuana. This law is currently in effect as of April 1, 2013. This is not an April Fools joke, but rather an effort that Senator Joshua Miller, D-representing Cranston, and state Representative Jay Edwards, D–representing Tiverton and Portsmouth, have been working to pass for the past five years. A first-time offender who possesses one ounce or less of marijuana will now see a $150 civil fine, and no jail time. An individual who is charged with possession three times in 18 months, however, must pay the original $500 civil fine, and will most likely spend a year in jail.
The implications are huge. The law hopes to debunk the “forbidden fruit” nature of the drug, which is why many young adults may find it so appealing in the first place. Perhaps more importantly, a portion of the money collected from fines will now go towards drug treatment and education programs. Now that possession is no longer criminal, it is hoped that people can seek proper treatment rather than becoming lost in the criminal justice system. This will save the state a great deal of money down the road by relying more on prevention and less on incarceration.
Like Superbad? The Office? Pineapple Express? Comedy? Happiness?!
Let’s team together to bring Seth Rogen (this guy) and Craig Robinson (this guy) to campus! One lucky school will have the chance to bring to campus an early screening of “This Is the End,” presented by none other than Rogen and Robinson. The movie tells a hilarious tale of the apocalypse featuring many comedic Gods and Goddesses: James Franco, Paul Rudd, Mindy Kaling, Jonah Hill, Jason Segal, and Emma Watson.
How do we make this dream a reality? Visit Eventful’s competition page here, click “Find Your College,” vote, and share the link with all of your friends (virtual friends and some pets count)! We are currently in 30th place. C’mon Brown! We can do so much better than that! Seriously though, let’s make this happen … please.
After Harvard’s College Events Board announced that hip-hop artist Tyga, known for his hit single “Rack City,” will perform at Harvard’s 2013 spring concert, Yardfest, students took to the internet to express their opposition. Harvard student Leah Reis-Dennis decided to take action by creating a petition late on Sunday night on Change.org. The petition protests Harvard’s decision to invite a headliner whose music “promotes sexism and rape culture.”
According to The Harvard Crimson, within an hour, the petition garnered 400 signatures and continues to attract signatures from students and alumni. The petition currently has over 1,000 signatures. The petition states that “Yardfest without a headliner would be better than a Yardest that amplifies misogyny and violence.”
The latest and greatest news, commentary, culture, entertainment, sports and miscellany from College Hill and beyond, brought to you by The Brown Daily Herald. If you have questions, comments, tips, ideas or want to write for us, shoot us an e-mail at blog@browndailyherald.com.
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