Ahh, Halloween. Cady Heron was right when she said that it’s the one night a year when girls (and boys. Don’t be so heteronormative) can be more scantily clad than usual and no one can say anything about it. And thanks to Halloween falling on a Wednesday, we get to experience two weekends chock full of bear-it-all costumes. Although the “which weekend should I go out” question might be bothering you (the answer is both, by the way), here’s the REAL question that should plague your every thought: “How am I supposed to come up with a different, hot costume EVERY night?” Have no fear, we have prepared eight simple and oh-so Brown-related costume ideas that will totally make you the hottest Brunonian around. We’ve even added a pick-up lines! Take a look after the jump. Continue Reading
When I say Chatroulette, you say sketchy. The creepy folks of the internet (and be honest with yourself, you’re probably one of them) absolutely love the concept of being able to anonymously talk to random strangers without any personal accountability. Maybe it’s because we like being able to do and say whatever we want (and I mean whatever). Maybe it’s because we like being another person for a little while.
Regardless, now you can have random nameless/faceless conversations with other Brown students. Brown juniors (who wish to remain anonymous) have created the rapidly growing “Convos“. Just click the link and you can sign up via Facebook (you need to be in the Brown network, which is how it’s kept within Brunonia only) and input your phone number in order to receive a text from the service. From there, you get connected with another Brown student, who gets matched to you according to your Facebook interests. You’re told the gender, class year, and interests of your chat partner… and from there, it’s up to you. You can end the conversation or start an additional one (you can have more than one going) at any time.
When RI resident Lynne Taylor and her former husband, Craig Fontaine ended things, they, as many divorced couples do, moved into separate houses… 50 feet away from each other. Healthy? Not even close. Shockingly enough, the situation did not lead to a pleasant, neighborly relationship or a sitcom.
It appears that Taylor, who lived alone with her pet cockatoo, trained the bird to scream obscenities, including “f*cking whore” and “f*ck off,” and then apparently allowed the bird to direct these remarks toward Fontaine’s new girlfriend, Kathleen Melker. This is not the first problem to arise between the neighbors. There is a three-inch binder of police reports and complaints, including an incident where someone spray-painted a mural of a cockatoo on the side of a structure near Taylor’s house.
The defense lawyer (sporting a cockatoo spangled tie) failed to convince the judge that Taylor should not have to pay the $15 fine issued to her for violating animal noise laws. Melker was pleased with the outcome and told reporters that, ”the evidence spoke for itself. The bird spoke for itself.”
The bird was not available for comment.
You’ve made it through a horrifyingly awkward dance. You’ve carried your mini fridge up four flights of stairs. You’ve survived the anxiety-ridden experience that is registration. Now it’s time to march into battle and win the ultimate prizes: glory, victory, bragging rights, and gift cards to that movie theater that you’ll only go to when you’re trying to show the person you’re dating how “cultured” you are. Clad in your tribe’s colors with passion in your heart, you charge the field casually wander onto the field and wonder why the majority of your unit isn’t here yet. (Answer: they’re hungover.)
Eventually, after an extended period of waiting around and trying to maintain awkward conversations with people you’ve only really known for six days, the tension mounts. Your RPLs make efforts to pump you up and when they fail, some over-hyped and over-excited fellow freshman will end up jumping on a table and letting out some guttural war cry. You’ll inevitably hear the ever-classic and somehow competitive phrase “This is Sparta” over and over and over again. You will half-heartedly join in, but someone will notice your lack of enthusiasm and force you to get up on the table as well… and this is not the first time you will be embarrassed today, so get used to it. The Brown Band marches by, playing Top 40 songs and you awkwardly hum along before you realize that everyone else at this school listens to really “underground” music and that they’re probably judging you for knowing an entire Taylor Swift song, so you quickly stop.
Reality check: It’s reading period, and the carefree days of Spring Weekend are behind us. In times of distress such as these, let us conjure memories of the good times, sunshine and debauchery as we live vicariously through Michael Jordan and follow his journey through Spring Weekend.
Michael gets schwasted in Keenasty. “It’s just so hard to not be drunk all the time.”