Who you should root for in Super Bowl 50

The Super Bowl is upon us yet again (sans Roman numerals this time) and odds are your favorite team won’t be there. This Sunday you will sit amidst plates of soggy, microwaved nachos, bitter Patriots fans, and the inevitable corny election-themed Super Bowl commercials, thinking about all the what-ifs. What if only Andy Dalton hadn’t gotten hurt? What if only Green Bay had won the coin toss against Arizona? What if Blair Walsh hadn’t missed the 27 yard field goal that a fat mechanic could have made?

Well, what if you could just suck it up, realize that only two teams can make the Super Bowl every year, and enjoy the game? Here are some reasons to root for either team. Take your pick.

Reasons to Root for the Denver Broncos

Broncos-cover

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Writing your resume: A Mad Lib

If all you got out of the career fair was lots of swag but no job or internship, ’tis the season to frantically send out applications like you’re graduating tomorrow (or last week, for some of us). So let’s get to it: you’re going to need some jobs to apply to, a probably-copy-and-pasted cover letter, and of course, a résumé resume.

In theory, resumes are a concise way to tell a potential employer how awesome you are and how well you would fit the job. In practice, they can be sterilized, CareerLab-edited bullet-point lists that use buzzwords to catch the eye of overwhelmed recruiters. So we’re here to spice up the resume game.

Fill out this mad lib and we’ll generate a ready-to-go personalized resume for you that we guarantee* will get you all the jobs!

*BlogDailyHerald cannot guarantee that any opportunities will arise from this post, and acknowledges that sending out this resume may be detrimental to your chances of becoming employed.

First name, Last name

What your parent(s) called you when you were little

Your first AIM screen name (ex. horseluvr1994)

Verb without the vowels

Silicon Valley company

Plural noun

Edible or drinkable noun

Art form (plural)

Facebook relationship status

Name of high school friend’s parent

Type of business

Verb phrase ending in “up” (ex. screwed up, vommed up)

Past tense verb

Phrase meaning “no worries”

Summer camp activity

Brown buzzword (noun)

Washed-up celebrity

Item found in the Brown bookstore (plural)

Old white male first name

Business buzzword (noun)

Noun ending in -ment

Controversial politician

Number

Action performed at Ultra nightclub

A random Wikipedia page

Reptile

Profession

Instagram photo edit category

Body part

 


Email: @hotmail.com

Experience:

, May-August 2015

  • Worked on an startup that has now become the of .
  • Used communication skills to order on Seamless for my bosses.
  • Created a feature for users to automatically upload representing their lifestyle.

’s , June-August 2014

  • important tax documents.
  • Frequently on the social media page.

Education:

Brown University, 1764-Present

  • GPA:
  • Selected coursework: Intro to , Unpacking the of
  • Picketed for university divestment from .
  • Research Assistant at the W. Brown center for and human .

High School

  • Weighted GPA: ; Unweighted GPA: 3.7
  • Captain of the Team
  • Winner of the 2012 -Bee

Skills:

  • Technical: Experience with C++ and .
  • Personal: Certified in -first aid; attention to ; work well with face-to- interaction.


BlogDH College Football Playoff Cheat Sheet

Between midterms, protests on campus, sports practice, homework, and sitting idly, few students at Brown pay attention to the Division I FBS college football season (We play in the FCS, the second tier division). Still, if you have friends from home that go to universities with tailgates and huge stadiums, you might want to catch up on the season before winter break. Here’s what you need to know to sound like you haven’t been living under a rock:

This Saturday (December 5) kicks off championship weekend for the Big 10, Pac 12, ACC, and SEC, the results of which will determine the four teams that the college football playoff committee selects to go on to the College Football Playoff. As of now, there are only eight teams left in contention.

Already buying plane tickets:

Screen Shot 2015-12-01 at 11.18.50 AM

Oklahoma: Oklahoma finished the season as champions of the Big 12 conference last week with a win over Oklahoma State. Their only loss so far has been against Texas, and they have wins against four top 25 opponents. With no more games left to play, Oklahoma is guaranteed one of the four spots.

Alabama: On Saturday, Alabama will face off against a two-loss Florida team that has struggled all of November, most notably when they barely escaped a terrible Florida Atlantic team. Alabama has been consistent all season, will win this game and go on to the playoff barring another miracle.

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Know your Lecture Board candidates: Toni Morrison

Toni Morrison

A quick bio:

Toni Morrison is an American novelist best known for writing The Bluest Eye, Song of Solomon, and Beloved. Her novels, centering around vivid characters, questions of identity, and the legacy of slavery, are considered among the best fiction ever written. In 1988, she won a Pulitzer prize and was nominated for the American Book Award for Beloved, and in 1993 she won the Nobel Prize in Literature. Her latest work, God Help the Child, was released in early 2015.

What we want to know more about:

  1. Her life before she was an acclaimed author. Before Morrison published her first book at age 39, she worked as a senior trade-book editor at Random House publishing and played a critical role in bringing Black literature into the mainstream during the 60s and 70s. During this time, she met Henry Dumas, Angela Davis, Huey P. Newton, Toni Cade Bambara and Gayl Jones and edited Mohammed Ali’s autobiography.
  2. Her relationships with feminism and intersectionality. Although her novels often surround Black female characters, Morrison doesn’t consider them to be feminist. When asked “Why distance oneself from feminism?” in 1998, she replied: “In order to be as free as I possibly can, in my own imagination, I can’t take positions that are closed. Everything I’ve ever done, in the writing world, has been to expand articulation, rather than to close it, to open doors, sometimes, not even closing the book – leaving the endings open for reinterpretation, revisitation, a little ambiguity.”
  3. Her thoughts on recent nation-wide movements on college campuses. Morrison was a university professor during the Civil Rights era. She has met many leaders who fought and continue to fight for equality, and has devoted her whole life to speaking about the Black experience in America. In a 1976 New York Times essay, she expressed concerns over a waning Civil Rights struggle: “Having been eliminated from the lists of urgent national priorities, from TV documentaries and the platitudes of editorials, black people have chosen, or been forced to seek, safety from the white man’s promise.” Later in the same piece, she says: “In the shambles of closing admissions, falling quotas, widening salary gaps and merging black-studies departments, builders and healers are quietly working among us.” Given these thoughts and experiences, it would be valuable to hear what she has to say about campus movements today.

Why you should vote for Toni Morrison:
Even if you don’t know much about Morrison, there are many reasons to want to hear her speak. We have the benefit of being alive at the same time as one of the most influential novelists in recent history; she is, after all, the only living American winner of the Nobel Prize in Literature. It’s likely that Toni Morrison’s epics could be as fundamental to the American literary canon as Melville’s Moby Dick. To close, Rachel Kaadzi Ghansah of the New York Times sums up what makes Morrison, Morrison:

“Often, in black literature, it seems as though the author is performing two roles: that of the explorer and the explainer. Morrison does not do this. Morrison writes stories that are more aesthetic than overtly political, better expressed in accurate Tolstoyan detail than in generalizing sentiments blunted with anger. Most important, she is an author who writes to tease and complicate her world, not to convince others it is valid.”

In short, Morrison is the one of the world’s most badass authors. She is wise, says what’s on her mind, and—considering events on our campus and across the country—is extremely relevant. Don’t forget to cast your vote here by November 29th!

Image via.


Eight ways Brown can thrive in the twenty-first century

In the sink or swim world of 2015, you have to be both creative and willing to step on the throats of others competitive in order to succeed. This year, Brown has made notable steps into the future, from breaking ground on a new engineering building and renovating the mailroom, to providing Sriracha sauce to the Ratty. These are great first steps, but they fall far short of preparing Brown for the century ahead. Here are our additional recommendations:

Increase number of Brown-related website portals from seventeen to twenty-five

Dramatization.

Dramatization.

The corporation has talked about growing Brown’s student body by 1% each year to increase tuition revenue, but little has been said about the stagnant number of websites and internet services accessible to Brown students. We need to move beyond Banner, Canvas, GET, PawPrints, EchoCenter, Sapling, Res-Life, Philo, Josiah, Focal Point, Shibboleth, Go, Workday, B.U.S. tracker, IM leagues, Touch.net, JIB, and Brown Connect. Seventeen different portals to accomplish similar tasks is simply not enough. To be a top-tier university in the 21st century we need more websites. At least eight more.

The Blue Room-Mailroom Merger

Blue Room Mail Room

What do the Blue Room and Mailroom have in common? Lines. Why is it that if you want to both get a sandwich and retrieve a package, you have to wait in two separate areas? This merger would both cut costs, and give students one seamless and efficient mailroom-dining experience.

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This anti-cheating app brings Big Brother to a campus near you

It’s no secret we’re being watched. In the virtual world, websites keep millions of terabytes of personal click and page-visit history. On the street, you can find ATMs and supermarket cameras quietly videotaping passersby. An estimated one trillion photos will be taken this year, many not even by humans, and there’s a good chance you’ll pop up in thousands of them. Even if you’re relaxing on top of a 200 foot tall wind turbine, privacy can be compromised.

Drone captures a man on a wind turbine.

Nobody is safe.

None of this really phased me. So what if I appear as some random dude in the background of thousands of photos this year? I have nothing to hide. Hell, I even kind of like my personal shopping suggestions on Amazon. This was until I registered for NEUR1030: Neural Systems.

My change of heart had nothing to do with the class itself. The transformation from happy nonchalance to paranoia occurred in the computer lab, where we were asked to take a pre-test on our personal computers.

The first direction was to download an anti-cheating Chrome extension called “Proctorio.” Continue Reading