Things that rhyme: Brown edition

2014 was an exciting time for anyone who had a penchant for clever wordplay, and too much time on their hands. Jews of Brown, Shoes of Brown. Brown Hook-ups, Brown Cookups. Baes of Brown, and then Neighs of Brown. (That one may have been a bit of a stretch.) Have you picked up on the trend? Things that rhyme are hilarious! Comedy, like, in one sentence!!

UnFortunately, it’s a new year, and it’s time to move on to fresh, surely less creative trolls. Some of these Facebook pages have already buckled under the pressure of maintenance, but we wanted to personally nip this in the bud.

From the people that arguably have the most verbal flair, and certainly have the most time to waste, here is an exhaustive list of things that rhyme with Brown Facebook pages.

Jews/Shoes of Brown

Blues of Brown – A page advertising various blues bands and/or Blue Man group wannabes.

Coups of Brown – A platform for those seeking tips in staging a hostile takeover, or who want to discuss their previous results at attempting to overthrow their superiors.

News of Brown – Potential rebranding for the Brown Daily Herald?

Ewes and Gnus of Brown – celebrating the wildlife of Providence.


Brown Confessions

Brown Obsessions: An online community dedicated to celebrating Beyonce, the word “heteronormative,” and free condoms.

Brown Transgressions: Basically, the same exact thing as the Confessions page.

Brown Impressions: For people who appreciate the soul/R&B group from 1960s. No relation to the ability to impersonate another person’s voice.

Baes/Neighs of Brown Continue Reading

Everything you need to know about “Heartbleed”


Some call it CVE-2014-0160. Some like to refer to it as TLS heartbeat read overrun. Some know it as OpenSSL v1.0.1. I like to say it’s the worst thing to happen to the Internet since BuzzFeed.

However you know it, the bug commonly known as Heartbleed remains shrouded in mystery to many. But no longer! By the end of this article, you, my fellow Brunonian, will be able to proudly discuss the intricacies of Heartbleed with your friendly local CS concentrator. Kind of like how you discussed that book in AP English after only reading the Sparknotes.

(Disclaimer: CS people, please don’t get angry at me for the technical transgressions I’ve committed in this article.)

What is Heartbleed?

Brief review: HTTPS is a thing. (You know, like https://) The S stands for Secure. It’s for when you don’t want other people to be able to see your passwords and other personal information.

You know that little lock in the top left corner?


This one.

Well, Heartbleed allows hackers to unlock that lock (in certain cases) and see parts of your personal information. Yeah. No bueno. Especially when the https:// precedes

What’s up with the name?

Sometimes, when your computer is talking to a website, it sends it a “heartbeat” to let it know that it’s still there. Kind of like when your doctor uses a stethoscope to make sure you’re still there. Without getting into technical details, suffice to say that the bug came from those heartbeats. So someone thought, “Oh, it would be kind of cool to nickname the bug Heartbleed, cause the site is bleeding information to hackers. Get it?”

And so it was.

How bad is it?

How bad would it be if your heart were bleeding?

Shit. Have all my passwords been stolen?

Uh, it’s sort of difficult to say. One of the worst things about Heartbleed is that it’s really hard to tell if anyone actually took advantage of it, and if so, who.

Continue Reading

12 Days of Flogmas, Day Eleven: The laundry experience at Brown

Santa Bear Flogmas Laundry

I’m very grateful for laundry machines. I’m glad I don’t have to go out and break ice in the Providence River to wash my clothes. I can afford to have a machine do that for me. But that doesn’t mean laundry is a perfect experience.

Here’s how an ideal laundry load goes:

  1. Put laundry in washing machine. Add detergent. Start.
  2. Wait 34 minutes.
  3. Transfer laundry from washing machine to dryer. Clean the lint out from the screen — fun times! Add dryer sheets if you’re one of those people. Start.
  4. Wait an hour.
  5. ????????
  6. Profit.

Here’s how it usually happens at Brown: Continue Reading

FlogDailyHerald: The CIT


First of all, before I start this Flog, I would like to say that there are many great things about the Thomas J. Watson, Sr., Center for Information Technology. I am grateful that the University has provided such an institution, that the CS department that the CIT represents is so excellent, and that both the equipment and the inhabitants people are great. However, some things about the building itself just don’t make sense…

The Sunlab

First of all, the Sunlab is a misnomer in two senses. First, and most obviously, there is no sun in the Sunlab, which is somewhat depressing for those of us who live work there. Second, the Sunlab was named after Sun Microsystems, because all of the computers in the Sunlab are built by Sun Microsystems. Err, were—those computers were replaced. Also, this upcoming January will be the fourth anniversary of Sun Microsystems’ acquisition by Oracle. Meaning that the namesake of the lab hasn’t existed for approximately four years. I guess it’s a nice historical thing? Continue Reading

Beat Brown-Secure: It’s happening

Fellow Brunonians,

Today, November 11, 2013, marks a momentous occasion. At approximately 11:30 a.m., CIS VP Pendse sent out the following email regarding Brown-Secure:


Important to note is the conspicuous absence of “help desk ticket” as a means of reporting wireless issues. (Read: stop spamming us.) Continue Reading

Tired of Brown-Secure? Let’s start a movement (in three easy steps)

Hey, remember eduroam? You may have noticed that it’s not working as well as it used to. That’s because so many students jumped the Brown-Secure ship that eduroam is sinking, too.

Captain Jack Sparrow

Just like the Jolly Mon!

But our network activities, or unfortunate lack thereof, have clearly been garnering attention from higher up–and it’s not just the NSA anymore. If you took the UCS Fall Poll, you may have noticed the conspicuous question regarding Brown-Secure.

As it happens, CIS was essentially unaware of the problem until Blog put the street knowledge on record, since nobody has been submitting help desk tickets. I’ve sent a couple of those since the original post, and saw results: a new wireless access point in Wilson 302!

Continue Reading