Posts by Jesse Hartheimer

What is more amusing, nowadays, than watching unsuspecting victims of peculiar events get caught on camera? Ever since the Candid Camera days, TV shows, comedy troupes, and even individuals have been staging public scenes of bizarreness and confusion, gauging the reactions of naïve bystanders (and posting it on YouTube). Perhaps no group is more hilarious than the 10-year-old New York based group Improv Everywhere, whose mission is to create “scenes of chaos and joy in public places.” Since 2001, Improv Everywhere has executed over 100 “missions” involving tens of thousands of “undercover agents.” Since you probably don’t want to waste your time perusing through the dozens and dozens of videos (well, you maybe you do), we will walk you through some of Improv Everywhere’s “Greatest Hits.” Frozen train stations, Food Court Musicals, and more after the jump!

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It can be hard, nowadays, to find a simple article of clothing that lets you show your school pride and politely informs others that you are, in fact, a grandiloquent, authentic Ivy Leaguer. Everyone and their mother owns that costly Brown sweatshirt. (This blogger has even seen his own mother sport matching Brown sweatpants, sweatshirt, and hat, which was painful to say the least.) Even the simple college t-shirt is no longer a reliable indicator of matriculation. However, fret no more. This year, New Balance is releasing a collection of Ivy League-inspired “hiker-sneaker fusion” shoes.  [Read more →]

How many times have you stayed up late writing a paper, drinking Four Loko, or perhaps testing out some of California’s finest (wine, of course)? The fact is that you’re tired the next morning and if you are unfortunate enough to have Professor Talbert’s lecture, be damn sure to conceal your sleepiness. He will tolerate none of your “overly-loud yawns” or other rude noise-making shenanigans.  In fact he will even interrupt class for the occasion and comb the audience in order to locate this pooped perpetrator.

However, if you are the drowsy delinquent, next time just follow these simple instructions and all will be well:

1. Get up and walk the hell out.
2. Yawn outside.
3. Stay out of class or do whatever you need to do to get over it.
4. Ask yourself, “Why am I the one loser that has to do that if 220 other people know better?”

If you are in a whistleblowing mood, nonetheless, feel free to anonymously tell Professor Talbert who did it.

A kilobyte.

1. Washington State bans the crazy beverage. I guess all of you Seattle natives will have to stick to the old cup o’ Jo (Seattle’s Best perhaps?) over winter break.

2. Loko maker to halt shipments to NY State. Prediction: Brown students will care about legislation being passed in other states once it begins to infringe on our summer internship drinking habits.

3. Sen. John Tassoni plans to ban “blackout in a can” across all of RI. Those URI students just had to ruin the fun for all of us.

however, let us not forget…

4. Four Loko is still legal here in Connecticut’s Foreskin.  So drink up and get Loko!

Political and media consultant, Tad Devine (Class of ’78) aided independent Linc Chafee to victory this past Tuesday in the Governor race of Rhode Island. Devine, a Providence native, ran Chafee’s campaign, making memorable local televisions ads. He has also had significant roles in the presidential campaigns of Michael Dukakis, Al Gore, and John Kerry, as well as the campaigns of various Senate and House members. It’s comforting to know that at least one Brown grad is somewhat involved in Rhode Island politics.

Lost faith in Rhode Island (excuse me) Rhode Island and Providence Plantations? Maybe this video will cheer you up. Even though it was not made by Devine, it is still amazing.

In a move that stunned almost all Pembroke dwellers this morning, Brown officials have decided to do away with the celebrated “PB&J” and replace it with simply “P&J” for this week.  Although this shift toward a simpler menu may promote better health, peanuts and jelly between two slices of bread sounds strangely off-putting. The reception across campus, moreover, has been mixed.

“Are you kidding me?” Michael Presser, Pembroke resident, exclaims. “The butter is clearly the best part of peanut butter.” Perhaps there is truth is Presser’s words. For example, what would ice cream be without the cream? Where would science fiction be without the fiction? And who would want to attend The Vagina Monologues without the Monologues?

“This is an utter outrage,” roars freshman Trevor Olds. “Can peanuts be smothered all over my body? I don’t think so.” It seems that this issue is affecting students in more than just ways gastronomical, however peculiar.

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Courtesy of Awkward Family Photos

Let’s face it, the merging of your college life and family culture can often times result in catastrophe.  Here are a few situations that we recommend you try to steer clear of, if possible:

1. Dad attempts to speak to your Hispanic roommate in broken and insultingly horrific Spanish. Awkwardo.
2. Mom sports a fanny pack and insists to refer to huge campus map while walking around. Classic.
3. At dinner (if Asian restaurant = wokward), you and your family wind up sitting next to the family of someone with whom you have a sexual history. Cockward.
4. If you’re a guy: family member finds a sticky remnant of a lonely night. Sockward.
5. Your pre-teen brother/sister (what a punk) changes your Facebook status to something personal and embarrassing. Social Netwarkward.
6. Dad finds your piece. Game.
7. Mom finds a used condom while making your bed. Set.
8. Younger sibling sees the used condom that Mom discovers. Match.

Advice:

Prepare properly for the arrival of your family. If, however, your family doesn’t love you and will not be here this weekend, be on the lookout for these awkward episodes all over campus and relish them.

Yes. That indeed was Brown’s original name when it was first founded in 1764.

And yes. It was the most ridiculous name out of the all of the colonial colleges.  To give you some perspective, Harvard was called the New College and Yale, the Collegiate School. (Here is the complete list.) Perhaps we wanted to flaunt the long-winded name of our Colony in order to compensate for its embarrassingly tiny size.

But seriously: College in the English Colony of Rhode Island & Providence Plantations! The BlogDailyHerald will give you ten dollars if you can successfully say that name in one breath. (Not really.)

Just thought you should know.

Obsessed with LOST?

Well, you might have the chance to meet Michael Emerson, the actor who plays Ben Linus on the ABC television series LOST.

Emerson is speaking at the University of Rhode Island in Kingston, RI on Sunday, October 24^th at 8:00 PM.  The talk is being promoted as “Behind the scenes of LOST and Mr. Emerson’s Life and Career.” Some sources say he also may apologize for killing Jacob. No promises.

Ticket can be bought online at ticketmaster or on the campus of URI if you find yourself in Kingston during this next week.

Here is a clip of Emerson from the final season, bloodied and bruised as usual.

Courtesy of Chattahbox

Don’t get us wrong; we relish saving the environment as much as the next college blog, but ever since Brown discontinued the sale plastic water bottles, other (more trivial) issues have surfaced.

According to the Providence Journal, Brown is the first Ivy League school to purge itself of the environmentally-offensive plastic water bottles. (And that is pretty tremendous. Of course Brown had to be first. That’s who we are.)

“While plastic water bottles are often more practical, Brown has been really good about distributing reusable ones,” freshman David Jacobs commented while sipping from his aluminum canteen.

Based 100% on anecdotal and flimsy evidence, however, some Brown students seem slightly insulted by the dearth of expendable, portable potables.   [Read more →]